Forever and a Day
by ThexInvisiblexGirl
Summary: Outtakes from my fic You Were Mine All Along. NEW ONESHOT ADDED - please R&R!
1. After the Storm

**A/N: Hey everyone! Here is the first outtake from my fic _You Were Mine All Along_. It takes place directly after chapter 28. The outtakes vary between Edward's POV and Bella's with no particular order - I'll just point out whose POV is it next to the title each time. They're pretty pointless, I guess - they're just scenes I wanted to do but didn't feel they needed to be expanded into full chapters. Most of them contain the fluff that I've denied from you during the story itself, so I thought you'd want me to share these lol. Reviews are still - and always - welcome! Happy reading =)**

******Disclaimer: the _Twilight_ characters are the eternal property of Stephenie Meyer. I mean them no harm – I'm only playing.**

**

* * *

**

After the Storm (Edward)

When I first opened my eyes, I thought I was dreaming.

My memory was fuzzy, my mind extremely disoriented, and so I couldn't figure out why the mattress didn't feel like my own, how I got here (wherever 'here' was), and who was this girl, sleeping so peacefully beside me. Then, about a second later, it clicked, and I could feel an idiotic grin curling on my lips. I didn't have to pinch myself to know I was very much awake, finally in my rightful place beside her. After all the stress and anxiety that shadowed the previous day, last night definitely had an interesting ending. Relief surged through me. Finally things were right again.

She was laying on her side facing me, all pallid skin and tangled brown hair. I toyed with the idea of kissing her awake, but it had been so long since I'd just sat there and watched her as she slept, so I thought I deserved a few moments of that. But then a few seconds later, she stirred, sighed, and slowly opened her eyes. They focused on mine instantly. "Mmm," she murmured drowsily.

"Why, good morning," I smiled. "Did you sleep well?"

She nodded with sleep still in her eyes. I scooped her in my arms as she lay her head against my chest. Even in her state of half-sleep, I could feel her fingers gripping at my shirt. I grazed my fingers along her back through her tanktop. She shivered, and snuggled closer, nuzzling her head between my neck and my shoulder. Her hair was still somewhat damp, so I let my fingers wander upwards to untangle it. With her body pressed so close to mine, still warm from sleep, I hardly felt the morning chill.

"This is how things should have been the first time I got here," I said, half to her, half to myself. "I wish you didn't have to go to rehearsals this morning," I added, dropping a kiss on her bare shoulder.

"What time is it?"

I glanced at the clock on the wall. "A little after seven. When do you need to be there?"

"At nine," she said through a stretch. Her toes brushed against mine for a second. Then she looked up and grinned at me. "Maybe I'll call in sick."

I gaped at her. She'd never ditched school once since I'd known her. I figured her attitude towards rehearsals would be just as strict, but I thought I'd question her statement anyway. "Will you do that?"

For a hint of a second, she seemed tempted. But then she shook her head. "You know I can't," she said. "But you're not going anywhere this time, even if I have to tie you to this bed myself."

"You've been speaking to Emmett too much," I mock-scolded her.

She laughed huskily and lay her arms against my chest. The tips of her hair tickled my cheeks as she hovered above me. When she next spoke, her voice was nothing but a seductive whisper. "Don't think I won't do it."

"Not if I do it first."

Taking advantage on her momentary distraction, I grabbed her wrists. She yelped as I flipped us over, then began to giggle and wriggle beneath me as she lay there flat on her back, her hair spilling on the pillows. The more she tried to struggled, the tighter I held her wrists. "Why, Mr. Cullen," she said once she got her giggles under control; "I suspect it's _you_ who've learned a thing or two from Emmett."

"Well, considering it was _you_ who came up with the shower idea the other night, and the tying-to-the-bed tactic, I think it's pretty obvious who learned what from my brother."

She pouted in mock-offense. "Are you underestimating my sense of innovation?"

"On the contrary," I whispered. I loosened my grip on her wrists as I placed a kiss on her temple. She snaked her arms around my neck. Her eyes were gleaming. I smiled down at her. "Do you realize this is the first time we're waking up together after a really long time?"

"I _told_ you this time apart would be good for us."

The haughtiness in her voice made me laugh. "Took us long enough. But I guess I can't complain."

"Look at it this way. We did something good on the way here."

"That's true," I agreed, my mind momentarily drifting to Nathan and Claire. "Do you think they'll be okay?"

"Well," she said, and her arms slipped from my neck to my hair. "I don't remember hearing knocks on the door at any point of the night, so I think they'll be fine."

I pretended to be horrified. "Clearly I'm not very good at distractions if you were listening to the door all night." I ignored her squirming as I let my lips wander along her neck.

"Oh, no, you're actually quite good at – "

At that point her speech got incoherent. Her hands fell from my hair as she grabbed the sheets. I thought it was my name she moaned, but I didn't stop to make sure. "Are you _sure_ you don't want to call in sick today?" I murmured, leaving her skin only long enough to utter the question.

"No… I mean _yes_, I'm sure," she breathed. "And you have to let me go or I'll have to stay extra time at the studio."

That worked like a charm. She laughed as if she'd expected it, but the sound was shaky. She lay a hand against my cheek. "Go back to sleep. I'll take you on a proper tour when I'm back this afternoon. And I'll leave you a key so you won't have to stay cooped up here."

"I sort of like the idea of being kept hostage by you," I murmured, leaning down to kiss her again. She kissed back, and her wriggling beneath me seemed to be getting the opposite affect than she'd probably meant it to. It surely didn't feel like reluctance.

"Have… to... go…" she whispered in-between frenzied kisses, and although it didn't sound as if she meant it, I let her go unwillingly. I was determined to stay awake long enough to see her off, but by the time I opened my eyes again, she was gone, and I was alone.

I spent most of the morning sleeping, and woke up several hours afterwards without remembering where I was again. I was so drained I could barely remember my own name. Exhaustion and jetlag finally got to me; I had to force myself out of bed at some point. I felt better after a warm shower, and I decided to go outside and get some fresh air. Bella left me a set of keys on the nightstand. I stared at it dumbfounded when I found it. I couldn't remember hearing her when she had done it. I guessed I was truly out of it.

It was about three in the afternoon when I left the apartment, but I wasn't going to go far. As much as I wanted to properly explore the city Bella seemed so taken by, I thought I could do it when I was a little more recovered. I was still too disoriented to have any real sense of direction, and I didn't feel like getting lost. I wandered around the park a little, and felt a bit frustrated with my lack of orientation in this strange place. I wished Bella could be here and show me around. Maybe I would take her on her offer when she was back this afternoon, if I were awake.

I wanted to pick up Bella from rehearsals, but I didn't remember the way there, so I thought I'd make myself useful in some other way. Passing by a supermarket on my way back from the park, I decided to cook dinner for her. I'd spent enough time with Claire to know I wasn't completely hopeless in the kitchen now. I could definitely handle dinner, even if I had to concentrate twice as hard because Europe was going by a different temperature system than the one I'd been used to.

I was going to make lasagna and mushroom ravioli, two things I knew for sure Bella liked. It was one of the first things I had asked Claire to teach me, one of the few things I had insisted to get right. Without being arrogant, I could pretty much do it in my sleep now. The unfamiliar kitchen threw me off a little at the beginning, but pretty soon I was so into my task that I'd forgotten about the strange surroundings. I was still a little drowsy, but with this new mission at hand, it was hardly felt now.

I made sure the temperature in the oven was right before I carefully placed the lasagna in it. I cleaned up quickly, got my cell phone and dialed Claire's number. Throughout the afternoon I had to stop myself from calling her, telling myself I needed to give her some privacy, but I couldn't contain my curiosity any longer. Bella was probably right, and if we hadn't heard from any of them until now, then things must have worked out. Nonetheless, I needed to hear this from Claire.

But the voice who accepted my call shortly afterwards, although familiar, wasn't Claire's.

"Hello?"

"Umm, hi, Nathan, it's, umm, Edward. Cullen." I cleared my throat. I could feel my cheeks flaring. We weren't even properly introduced the other evening. It felt strange speaking to a man I'd suspected Bella had an affair with until not so long ago, someone I'd known so much about because of Claire, but still nothing at all. This was awkward, to say the least. "Is Claire there?"

"She left the room for a moment. I could get her for you."

"Oh, no, it's fine, I just wanted to make sure you survived the storm last night." It was true on so many levels.

On the other end, he laughed. "Everything is alright, don't worry."

I heaved a sigh of relief. "I'm glad to hear it."

There was a long pause, and then he cleared his throat. "Well, since we're speaking, I'd better… I guess I should use this opportunity to… There was something I needed to tell you. I should probably have said it last night, but under the circumstances, it just escaped me. I just thought you should know how lucky you are. Bella is very special. Don't let her slip away."

I laughed, softening instantly. "I wasn't going to."

"It feels necessary to apologize. I… unintentionally seem to have caused trouble between the two of you, and I thought you should know it was baseless. All of it. Bella became really important for my daughter and myself, but that's it. She has never been anything more than a friend."

"I know."

"She loves you more than you know."

It was strange to hear a statement like that from a third party; strange, but amazingly comforting at the same time. I didn't need reassurances or confirmations as for how Bella had felt for me, but the unconfident part in me sort of feared that her feelings had been wavered or altered as a result of the past several months. If I hadn't figured it out after last night, there he was, saying what I'd already known. She was mine all along. "Thank you. For more than just telling me that. Thank you for taking care of her when I… couldn't."

"Don't mention it. I was happy to do it. I think I ought to thank you as well. For Claire."

"How… how did it go?" I didn't know if I was in any position to actually ask it. I barely knew him, but I fretted for her.

"It was difficult at first, but we had a long talk, and we're going to work it all out. It might take a while, but I believe it will be alright."

"I'm sure it will be," I replied, dizzy with relief. I almost couldn't believe that our plan had worked after all.

"I know you and I had a bumpy start, but I was hoping we could know each other a little better under the circumstances. Bella told me you're considering doctoral studies. Perhaps I could be of help to you in the short time you're here."

"That would be great, actually."

"Excellent. She isn't back from rehearsals yet, is she?"

"Not for another hour, I think."

"Could you please tell her to – Oh, here's Claire, just a – "

The rustling sounds that followed implied that she snatched the phone from his hand, which wouldn't surprise me one bit. "Are you friends yet?" She asked me as soon as the rustles ceased. Her voice was lively, happy, quite a change from yesterday's dread.

"Definitely heading there, by the looks of it," I replied. "How are you?"

"Tired. We stayed up all night talking – "

"Talking, huh?" Bella was right. I _was_ getting somewhat like Emmett. It was unnerving.

Claire just ignored me. "But other than that I'm good. You were right – I should have come. I'm so glad I listened to you!"

"Well, isn't that a first," I chided her. "How did it go with Emily?"

She sighed. "I wasn't expecting it to be seamless. She's apprehensive, but I guess I can't blame her. I think I'm slowly getting to her, though. She's so smart, Edward, and I actually fear you might have a serious competition here – she never wants Bella to leave."

"I'll kidnap her, if that's what it takes."

"Does that mean you two are finally okay?"

"We're perfect."

"You know what? We should do something fun together. I need a few more days alone with Emily, but after that we could all get together. I really want you to meet her. The weather is supposed to be nice on Sunday – how about a picnic?"

"I'll have to check with Bella, but it sounds great."

"Excellent! I'll work things out with Nathan and we'll call you back."

I was still smiling to myself when we hung up shortly afterwards. I could bet they had a rough time talking things over, but at least both of them sounded at ease now. I could finally allow myself to be more optimistic. It was going to take some time and hard work, but they were slowly on their way to get better. And so were Bella and I.

I checked on the oven. The lasagna looked about done. I was okay on times; there was about half an hour or so before Bella was home. I turned the oven off and padded back to the living room where I sprawled on the sofa. There was some random cooking show on TV and I stared at it, fighting against my drooping eyelids. The thick British accent sounded too loud, lulling me to sleep even further. I guessed I'd lost the battle eventually, because when I next opened my eyes, I was snuggled into the sofa having the distinct feeling I was being watched. I gasped and sat up, squinting into the darkness.

Bella was kneeling next to the sofa, and a smirk ghosted at the corner of her lips. "Why, good morning," she laughed softly, echoing my words from earlier today.

"How long have you been sitting there?" My voice was hoarse from sleep. I couldn't have been asleep for more than twenty minutes, maybe less, but it was so deep it felt like so much more.

"Just a couple of minutes." She reached for the remote and turned the TV off. "I'm sorry I scared you. You looked so worn out. Long day, or is it my fault?" She winked, and her cheeks flushed at her own innuendo.

"A little bit of both, I guess." I stretched and groaned. My neck was sore. I ran a hand through my hair. She kicked her shoes off and came to sit next to me, scooting to my side. "Did you have a good day?"

"I did. I'm starving though. Do you feel like going out, or should I start on – " Her voice trailed off as I lay a finger on her lips. She pressed them shut and looked at me questionably.

"No, I don't feel like going out, but you don't need to worry about dinner."

It took her a second to get it. She sniffed the air, her eyes widening with shock. "I thought someone downstairs was cooking. Since when do you – "

"That's the price of leaving me to provide for myself," I mock-accused her, barely able to hide my grin. "And I learned a thing or two from Claire."

"It's a little offensive that in a few months she managed to do what I couldn't in five years," she pouted.

"You're too cute when you're jealous," I grinned, kissing her nose. "It's easier to keep my focus with Claire in the kitchen. I'm not prone to other… distractions," I pointed out, letting my fingers drift beneath the hem of her shirt while keeping my eyes on hers.

"Oh, I see." A slow, mischievous smile curled on her lips. "Well, let's see how good you are."

"And if I am?" I challenged her, letting her tug on my hand and pull me off the sofa.

"Well, in that case, we'll have to think of some sort of a reward, won't we?"

I gulped, loudly, and crossed my fingers for success as I followed her into the kitchen.

It wasn't until much later, when she drifted to sleep in my arms, that I remembered I hadn't told her Nathan had asked after her.


	2. Forever and a Day

**A/N: Big thankyou to Mizra for yet another gorgeous banner - head over to my profile to view the banner for this story! The following outtake picks up from where chapter 29 has left off, only from Edward's POV. More fluff - you know what you gotta do if you liked it ;)**

* * *

**Forever and a Day (Edward) **

When we returned to Bella's apartment, I still couldn't wrap my mind around the idea. A part of me knew it was actually happening. We were getting married. Another part was still in deep denial, waiting to be woken up any second. It didn't matter that we spent nearly two hours by the river bank, huddled together against the dropping temperatures as twilight fell, planning. It didn't matter that she was the one who had initiated it, which made all the difference in the world now. The concept of us being officially engaged was just too enormous to absorb.

Bella let go of my hand so she could open the door, and smiled at me as she walked passed me inside. Once the door was closed, shutting out the rest of the world from us, I took her in my arms and kissed her. I felt her grin against my lips as if she'd anticipated it. When we pulled away after a moment, we just stood there with our foreheads pressed together. Her eyes were gleaming, even in the semi-darkness.

"I can't even begin to tell you," I started, but soon faltered, because this statement could have been continued in so many different ways. How much I loved her, how happy I was, how lucky I felt to have her.

"I know," she said, flashing that sweet smile at me again. "Well, if you want, we can make things official," she said, and there was a hint of mystery in her voice.

"If I knew you were planning to corner me that way, I would have brought your ring with me," I taunted her as I raised her hand to my lips. I planted a small kiss on the finger where the ring should have been.

"That's not what I had in mind." She lowered our joined hands and gently towed me towards the sofa. She clicked on a lamp and indicated me to sit down before she came to sit on my lap with her cell phone in her hand.

We called Renée first, but she wasn't in, and Phil promised he'd tell her to call back as soon as she was home. I was literally holding my breath when Bella dialed the number at the Forks police station, looking for Charlie. The two of us were on much better terms now than we had been in the beginning, and still, I feared that this piece of news would bring us back to that early time, the time he had resented me. What if he expected me to discuss things with him first? This time Bella was the one proposing, but what if I was supposed to turn to him that first time? What if I had already messed it all up unintentionally by not asking his permission?

"Dad?" Bella's voice pulled me out of my sudden panic. She smiled at me, oblivious to my growing distress. "No, everything is fine. I just… needed to tell you something." She took a deep breath, and since she was sitting close enough, I could feel the way her heart was flying, echoing the beat of my own heart. I wondered whether it was just nerves, or actual horror as was my case.

"Well, I don't think it comes as a big surprise to you or anything, but Edward and I are getting married. No, I'm not kidding. No, Mom doesn't know yet. Yes, you're the first to know." She let out this soft laughter, but there was still a nervous edge to it. She seemed terrified. I wondered why that was. It would be _my_ ass he'd want to kick if the idea displeased him.

"He wants to talk to you," she suddenly whispered, all but shoving the phone into my hands.

I took it slowly, fretfully. The hammering of my heart reached all the way up to my throat. "Hi, Charlie." I closed my eyes at the sound of my cracking voice. I was humiliated already.

"So, is what Bella has just told me true?" He asked with no further introductions. I couldn't place a finger on his tone. Was it angry, or blaming, or approving?

"Uhh, yes, sir, it is." I cleared my throat. Why did I have to sound like a thirteen year old in what was supposed to be a milestone in our relationship, in our lives? "I, umm, understand I should have come and talk things over with you first, but I'm…"

"Well, considering you live across the state, I'd say this rule is null and void."

I tensed. There was definitely laughter in that comment. It didn't make me calmer. I wouldn't hold my breath. You could never know, with Charlie.

"Relax, kid. I'm not going to yell at you. I think that after all this time you two have been together, I would have been upset with you if you weren't going to marry her."

Wait… what?

"What I'm trying to say, not very cohesively, is that Bella is lucky to have you. And I give you my blessing, if you promise to take good care of my baby girl."

It was strange to hear Charlie acting so sentimental. I nodded in earnest, even though he couldn't see me. "You have my word, Charlie."

"In that case, welcome to the family, son."

Never in my wildest dreams had I thought I'd hear those words spoken by Charlie, and with so much warmth in his voice. I thought I thanked him, but I wasn't sure. It wasn't until Bella had the phone again when I snapped out of my stupor. She listened to him for a long moment, and I could see she was getting misty-eyed as well. "Thank you," she whispered eventually, her own voice breaking. She laced her fingers with mine absentmindedly. I squeezed her hand. She shook her head at something he asked her. "This summer. Forks, most likely. So you won't have to travel far. I'll let you know as soon as we finalize everything. I love you too, Dad."

"Well, that was fun," I teased her when she hung up. I brushed the remaining tears from her cheeks with my thumb. She raised one eyebrow and handed me the phone in what seemed like a wordless challenge. My fingers were shaking when I dialed my parents' number.

"Mom," I said as soon as she picked up the phone.

"Edward! Are you home already, honey?"

"No, not yet, I'm leaving tomorrow." I gave Bella's waist a little squeeze when she pouted at that reminder. "Listen, Mom, is Dad home?"

"No, he won't be for a few hours. Why, is something wrong?" Her voice tensed instantly. She was in a full mother mode, already on her guard. I smiled to myself.

"No, no. I just hoped I could tell you together."

"What are you talking about, tell us what?"

"Do you have any plans for August thirteenth?"

"August thirteenth? What…" Her voice trailed off in puzzlement.

"It comes out a Sunday; make sure both you and dad are available that day, okay?"

"Edward, honey, what is it all about? You know it's impossible for your father to make plans so much time in advance, I don't know if he – "

"That's fine," I said as casually as I could, winking at Bella; "If he wants to miss his son's wedding – "

"_What_?" I hadn't heard my mother shriek since Emmett and Rosalie told her she was going to be a grandma. And this time was definitely louder. Bella began to giggle, and buried her head in my shirt to muffle the sound. "Honey… that's… the best news I heard all day." Her voice was quivering, so I knew she was tearing up already.

"Thanks, Mom."

"But Bella only comes back in July, doesn't she? How will you be able – "

"We'll manage. We'll need a lot of help though." Planning a wedding on a long distance was going to be tricky, but I didn't care. I didn't need the theatricals. I just wanted her.

"We'll help, of course, but wouldn't it be easier to postpone it a little?"

"Bella joins the New York City Ballet in September," my heart swelled with pride when I told my mom that. "And if I get in the program, I'll probably start school again about that same time; August is going to be our only time off in a long time."

"Sweetheart, that's wonderful news. I'm so happy for both of you. I'm going to call your father right now."

I laughed at her urgency. "Okay, Mom. I'll call you when I get home tomorrow."

"Alice?" Bella asked as soon as I hung up.

"Alice." This was going to be fun. I meant to hand her the phone, but she shook her head. I shrugged, and she watched me as I dialed.

"Bella?" My cousin's voice was full of expectation.

"Almost," I laughed.

"Edward!" she chirped. "What's up? How's London?"

"London is great – do you have a few minutes?"

"For you – always! What is it?"

"Well, you know how you always pester Bella about being her maid of honor," I started, brushing a finger along Bella's cheek to watch the color of her skin darken. "How about making good on that promise?"

"Are you teasing me again, Edward Cullen? Because I'm too busy and important to be bothered. And besides, Emmett beat you to this joke three years ago, you know."

I shook my head. For years she'd been taunting us with wedding talk, and when it was finally happening, she wouldn't believe me. "Alice, I'm not joking. There's a date and everything."

"That's what Emmett said back then too, Edward, and he's given me a date – as far as 2024 – because he expected Bella would run off way before – "

"Alice," I cut her off, "Bella and I are getting married." I wasn't prepared for the swell of emotion these six words inflicted. Saying it aloud made it more real.

"_Why didn't you say so in the first place_?" she screeched. She had officially beaten my mom. I had to hold the phone away from my ear.

"I've been trying – "

"Oh my _God_, is this for real? Because if you're getting me all worked up for nothing, I swear to God, Edward – "

"It's for real," I laughed.

"Oh my Gooooooood," she squealed. "When?"

"August."

She huffed in discontent. "Well, I guess I should thank you for not notifying me two _weeks_ in advance. I have _four_ months to plan a wedding?"

My body went rigid. "Whoa, hold on – who says you're planning the wedding?"

She let out this musical laughter. "Admit it, Edward, you're going to need a _lot_ of help. You might as well consult with the experts. Anyways, there's no time to lose – put Bella on the phone."

I shrugged, and did as she said. "Alice," was all Bella managed before she was cut off by Alice's fast speech. She only managed a few words every now and again. "I start working in September – the New York City Ballet – yeah, I know – no, Forks. New York is too – Ivan's grandma used to work in a bridal shop, so – what? Theme colors?"

I took the phone from her when she began to look flustered. She sighed and flashed me a weary smile of gratitude.

" – will look best. Although brown and gold might work well too. I don't know, I'll have to – "

"Alice, is there a reason you're scaring my fiancée?" We shared a tiny smile. It even _sounded_ unbelievable.

But Alice put an end to our little moment. She sounded furious at the interruption. "_Edward_, put Bella back on the phone! Oh, crap, I have to go – listen! Call me as soon as you're back in New York, we've got _loads_ of work to do – this is so exciting!"

"My ears are still ringing!" Bella pouted when we finally hung up, but I didn't manage to reply when the phone in the apartment rang. Its cradle was on the small table right next to the sofa, and Bella didn't even have to get up to reach out for it. Her featured melted into a smile instantly. "Emmett!"

I groaned inwardly. My mom was working faster than I'd given her credit for.

"Yes, he's right here. Hang on."

I only managed a quick hello before he cut me off disdainfully. "Why is the brother always the last to know?"

Clearly, there was no point going in circles. "You were next on our list."

"Yeah, yeah. So is it true or was Mom jiving me, which would be a first if she has by the way?"

"No, no, it's true." Nothing could be more true than that.

"So you finally repopped the question?"

"Erm, no, actually, Bella did."

And thinking back of that conversation a little over a year ago, something else dawned on me. Who needed theatrical and extravagant, anyway?

We called Anya and Jasper, who somehow already knew everything from Alice. Then we called Nathan and Claire. Once we finished, we just sat there for a long moment. We didn't speak – there was no need to. Claire and I were leaving for New York the next day and I'd never been more reluctant to do so. I knew it was harder for Claire, who'd only just got her daughter back, but her return date was pretty much set. It would be months before I'd see Bella again.

Her hand fluttered against my cheek, shaking me out of my reverie. She shook her head as if she knew what was on my mind. "It's only for a little while," she reassured me.

"And then forever?" I teased her.

"Forever and a day," she laughed, ruffling my hair.

"In that case," I murmured and leaned forward to capture her lips with mine. There was a soft clang when her phone found its way onto the carpet. I threaded my fingers in her hair and pulled her closer. Her own fingers found their way beneath my shirt; her nails grazed my skin. Her fingers got tangled in the material of the shirt when she tried to take it off. She pulled away from me, giggling breathlessly at her failing attempt. Her erratic breathing was hot against my skin. The shiver that rippled through me didn't stop me from pressing my lips to her neck. She threw her head back a little, allowing me better access.

"You should… really… finish packing…" she managed brokenly, hissing when I sucked on her delicate skin. Her hair whipped at my face as her head fell against my shoulder.

"I really don't feel like packing right now." Our lips met briefly before I grinned at her, and swept her off the sofa in one swift motion. She gasped in surprise and held on to my neck, her lips descending on mine once again.

And then there was no sound aside for the whisper of our lips repeatedly crushing against one another as I carried my fiancée to her bedroom.


	3. Two Homes

**Two Homes (Bella)**

When I was old enough to understand the meaning of having parents who live separately from one another, my mother, in one of her many motivational talks (she believed they had therapeutic powers, even if their subject was a nine year old), told me I should look at the bright side. "You're luckier than other kids," she had said. "You have two homes."

I'd never felt luckier than girls who had their dad with them at home, the same girls who had teased me about the whereabouts of mine. I'd never felt lucky when their dads drove them to Madame Claudine's studio and came to pick them up when the lesson was over. I'd never felt lucky when both their parents showed up at recitals while my own mother often missed half the show, and always the part in which I had performed. I'd never felt lucky to have to travel half the continent each summer to visit my dad in a place I got chills from thinking of as home. And as for my home in Phoenix, it was simply the place where I'd lived with my mom, never more.

It wasn't until I went to study in New York when I realized what home really meant. It was this sense of belonging I'd never felt in either Forks or Phoenix, something that ground me to the place, something that made me an actual part of it, something that made me want to never to leave it. Places and people I cared for. The thing that made it most my home was that it was mine by choice. I chose to come here, and I chose to stay.

And then I went to London, and everything turned upside down.

I stared out of the window without really seeing the street outside. It was a perfect, cloudless morning, but I knew it was probably still cold. I felt strange. I wasn't expecting to feel so blue on my last day here. I'd be back with Edward in a few hours, back in our apartment, back in New York. I should be overjoyed, but I wasn't. It was inevitable I'd leave a part of me behind, but it was more than that. Without really realizing it, I'd made a home for myself here. My mother's statement finally began to make sense. Phoenix or Forks or Jacksonville, they all failed to do what this place had done to me. Suddenly, I did have two homes. Today I'd be leaving one in order to go back to the other, but my departure wouldn't be complete. A part of me would stay here until I was back to get it someday. I would always belong here, just as I would always belong in New York.

Saying goodbye to everyone at the company was harder than I thought. Our getting together at the pub the other night turned into an actual party with improvised karaoke and everything, courtesy of Ivan of course. We all cried at the end of the evening. Everyone surprised and embarrassed me by giving me something, a card or a gift. Ivan's gift made me laugh the most – it was black and lacy and it had a French label on it. For the honeymoon, he explained, making me blush in front of everyone. But it was his other gift that reduced me to tears a second time that evening: he told me that he and Jenna would be coming to my wedding next month. They even submitted to Alice's plans and had been recruited to what Edward and I had come to term as The Bridesmaids' Army. Thinking about it made me hopeful, happy. I wasn't ready to part with them so soon.

A knock came on the door. I blinked; the street remained unchanged. "Come in."

"Bella?" Leslie, Doreen's friend, poked her head into the room. Ever since she was back from Edinburgh about two weeks ago, I moved into the spare room. We got along really well, and she even suggested I'd come to stay with her whenever I ever came back to do a production in London. "Nathan is here."

"Oh." I didn't realize it was time to go. I looked out of the window and sure enough, Nathan's car was parked outside. I hadn't noticed it before. I caught a glimpse of red in the front seat – Claire. It was sweet of them to offer me a ride to the airport. I could never manage all of my luggage – four suitcases and a backpack – by myself.

I said goodbye to Leslie, thanking her for what felt like the millionth time, while Nathan went downstairs and back with my stuff. I joined him on the last journey downstairs, glancing one final time at the apartment that had served me so well throughout the year.

Claire was on the sidewalk next to the open trunk. She eyed the last suitcase Nathan was wheeling with apprehension. "You'll never be able to fit this one in – hi, Bella," she stopped to kiss my cheek. "There's absolutely no way."

"Where's Emily?" I asked, but I could see her already, sitting in the car with her back to us, staring through the window. That was odd; I half-expected her to pounce at me like she'd always done.

Claire still smiled when she replied, but it didn't reach her eyes. "She's a little upset."

My heart twitched. "Should I try to talk to her?"

"She hardly said five words since breakfast," said Nathan. He seemed concerned, but at the same time it was almost as if he had anticipated it, and known there was very little he could do against it. The trunk shut in a clang. He went over to the backseat and opened the door that was closest to her side. "Emily, sweetheart, step outside for a second so we can put this suitcase in."

Emily obeyed wordlessly, and Nathan waited until she was safe beside Claire on the sidewalk before he began to push the suitcase into the backseat. Emily looked lifeless, like I'd never seen her before. She just stood there, her head sort of hanging, her hands in the pockets of her overall.

"Hey, Emily," I tried, exchanging a worried look with Claire.

"Hi," she whispered, but the reply was laconic. She didn't even look at me.

"Alright, ladies, let's go," Nathan said then. Emily didn't look my way when Claire helped her into the car and made sure her seatbelt was fastened. I let my eyes wander one more time to the top floor before I took a deep breath and got into the car as well.

The way to Heathrow was so different than the road I'd made in the opposite direction a year ago with Cecilia. I was sick and petrified then. Now I felt stronger, wiser, more experienced. I was sad to leave London behind. I'd never felt that way about neither Forks nor Phoenix when I had to leave one place to get to the other. It was my parents I was sorry to part with, not the place itself. Now it was different. I'd miss it here. Nonetheless, it was comforting to know it wasn't for good.

Nathan, Claire and Emily walked me as far as they could go when we eventually reached the airport. Like Ivan and Jenna, I was going to see them next month at the wedding. They had already booked their flights and everything. But I still wasn't prepared to fall apart so completely when I realized this was it. My last goodbye.

"Hey…" Nathan softly murmured when I began to sob into his chest as soon as he hugged me goodbye. "Don't, or I'll start crying too and Claire will make fun of me until Christmas."

"You bet your ass I will," I heard Claire say over my shoulder. I laughed, but the sound came out strange.

"Have a safe journey back," he said, patting my back a little awkwardly, as if he wasn't really sure what to do with me.

"Thank you," I whispered, pulling away so I could look at him. His dark eyes were damp too, full of emotion. "For everything."

"_I_ should be the one thanking _you_." He leaned forward to kiss my forehead. "We'll miss you."

"I'll miss you, too."

"When you come back, you can always have the spare room at our place. By all means."

I just nodded. It was useless to even try and come up with a reply with all those tears. Instead, I walked over and hugged Claire.

"You shouldn't be crying, you know," she chided me, and her tone was that cheerful, carefree one I admired. "Edward's waiting for you on the other end."

I nodded, holding back more tears. "I know."

"Thank you for holding my family together."

"I'll do it again any day." With that I turned to look at Emily, who was still silent. Her gaze was fixed on the floor, but her bottom lip was trembling in what could only mean one thing. I dropped to my knees and wrapped my arms around her before she could squirm away. "Oh, sweetie…"

"I don't want you to leave." Her head was buried in my neck as she cried quietly. It wasn't loud sobs like a child her age would, but choked, agonized sobs of a grownup. I could feel her shoulders shaking with it. The sensation of her tears against my skin made me well up again.

"I know," I whispered, "but I have to." I rubbed her back, much like Nathan had done for me not five minutes ago, and for one crazy moment it did feel as if she was mine. "I want you to promise me something; will you do that?"

She pulled away and finally looked at me. Her eyes were a little swollen, glistening with tears. She nodded.

"I want you to be a good girl, and that you'll make your parents proud of you. And if you decide you want to keep up with your dancing, don't stop practicing, even if it gets too tiring or too difficult or too painful. And when you come to visit me next month, you'll have tones of new moves to show me, okay?"

"Okay," she replied in a tiny, broken voice. Then she threw her arms around me again. I could feel her little hands clutching my hair. "I love you."

I closed my eyes against the swell of emotion those three words inflicted. "I love you too, sweetheart. I'll see you soon, okay?"

By the time it was really time to go, my vision was blurred with tears, but at the same time I also felt strangely elated. Little by little, I was on my way.

I didn't remember much of the flight in. I was tired, and thankfully slept through most of it. A flight attendant had to practically shake me awake when it was time to refasten my seatbelt towards the upcoming landing. I reached for my bag, extremely disoriented, and tried to do something about my unkempt appearance. I finger-combed my hair and put some lip-gloss on. I'd see him in less than an hour. That was enough to break a smile on my weary face.

I released the breath I didn't even know I was holding when I heard the screech of wheels touching the concrete when the plane had finally completed its landing. My cheeks suddenly felt damp with more tears. Had it really been a year?

By the time I passed the immigration queue, my exhaustion was all gone. I found someone to help me hoist my luggage onto a trolley, and struggled to push it forward and out.

I spotted him immediately. It was a proper summer day in New York, and he was wearing dark blue jeans with one of his grey cotton tee shirts. His gaze wandered frantically from his watch to the electronic board where all the flights' times were listed. Although we landed right on time, I was delayed inside while waiting for all my suitcases to arrive. Knowing him, he probably thought he was late, or that was something wrong with the board. I wanted to shout his name, but it was too noisy and crowded. So instead I pushed the trolley forward, towards him, hardly feeling its massive weight. He didn't notice even when I was right behind him. His gaze was turned in the wrong direction, glued to the screen over his head.

"Excuse me," I started a little breathlessly. His head whipped back at that. He gasped quite loudly. I smiled sweetly at him. "Would you help me find my fiancé?"

The floor disappeared from beneath my feet. I yelped and held on to his neck as he lifted me off the ground and sort of twirled me around in the air, his arms tight around me. "Welcome home, sweetheart," he whispered when he finally put me down. His thumb brushed against my cheek, wiping away what had left of my tears. When he leaned over to kiss me, it was as if my feet had left the ground again.

And then I figured it all out. I finally _was_ home, because he was here. Home was where he had been. Otherwise, something would always be missing.

He pulled away slowly, reluctantly, but stayed very close. I couldn't look away from him; I didn't want to. Ever since we got engaged and he went back to New York, time had passed torturously slow. I hadn't seen him for nearly three months. Now that I finally got him back, I wanted to savor every second of our reunion.

"How was your flight?"

"I slept through most of it."

"Not tired, then?"

"A little," I laughed softly.

"Come on. Let's get you out of – oh, no, actually wait." He flashed a crooked grin at me. "I've got something for you."

I rolled my eyes. I should have known, really. "You have to stop doing that," I pouted, poking his chest.

"Oh, it's not really a gift, just…" He let his voice trail as he took something out of his jeans pocket. I recognized the velvet box instantly. Wordlessly, he took out the ring – _my_ ring. It overwhelmed me on first sight; I'd forgotten how beautiful it was. The diamond shimmered in the poor light of the airport. I watched him as he slipped it onto my finger. I felt my lips curl in a smile. It fit perfectly. "You wanted to make things official," he reminded me, his eyes leering at me. "But I'll spare you the embarrassment of going on one knee in public," he said, and his cheeks flushed as if the idea was appalling to him as well.

"Thanks," I laughed and raised my hand up to examine the ring more closely. I didn't know where he had found it, but it looked too much of an antique to have come from Tiffany's or the likes of it. I'd never seen anything like it; it made me love it all the more.

"Since both of us are suckers for Victorian literature, it seemed… appropriate," he explained.

"It's perfect. Thank you," I smiled, and stood on tiptoes to drop a kiss on his cheek.

He returned my smile, but it soon disappeared when his gaze wandered behind me, and his eyes widened in shock before he threw me a disapproving look. "You didn't carry…?"

"It wasn't heavy," I shrugged.

He eyed me dubiously, and shook his head. "Thank God I thought of bringing backup," he laughed as we made our way out of the terminal. I wanted to hold him, but he needed both hands to push the trolley forward. He scowled at me when I tried to help him push it.

"What backup?" I asked, puzzled, when the city's polluted air hit me full force. It was hot and somewhat humid, quite a change from the crisp morning I left behind an ocean away. I shrugged out of my jacket and lay it on top of the fourth suitcase.

Edward just grinned and nodded forward, at one of the cars parked ahead.

I spotted him instantly. "_Emmett_!" I cried joyously and flung myself at him.

Emmett burst into roaring laughter as he hugged me. "Hi, kiddo. It's good to have you back."

I took in the sight of the car from over his shoulder. I pulled away and shot him an inquiring look. "Since when do you have a car?"

"Oh, we rented it – here, let me take it, dude – we rented it so you can go back in style."

"It made more sense than going back by bus with all your stuff," Edward added. Since his hands were finally free, he wrapped one arm around me. I clung to his shirt and lay my head against his shoulder.

Emmett observed us with feigned disgust. "Yup, still sickeningly cute. I actually think it got worse."

I laughed and stuck my tongue at him. Edward tugged at my hand and opened the car door for me. I expected him to sit next to Emmett, but instead he climbed into the backseat next to me. The inside of the car was cool, as if they'd turned on the air conditioning on the way there. It felt nice comparing to the stuffy heat outside, more familiar somehow. The entire car shook for a moment when Emmett shut the trunk. Then, shortly afterwards, he got into the car too. He grinned at me through the rearview mirror as he started the car.

"Come on. Let's get you home."

xoxox

"That's not home," I said as soon as Emmett had killed the engine in front of a building I knew, but which was definitely not _our_ building.

"Just a short detour," Edward said, squeezing my hand as he smiled at me.

In the front seat, Emmett sniggered, and went out of the car. I turned my gaze from him to Edward. "What are you guys up to?"

"Nothing," replied Edward, but he was having a hard time keeping the grin off his face. He followed his brother, and circled the car to get the door for me.

I thought I had a faint idea as for what they might have been planning, when a voice – shrill and distant – over our heads suddenly called out "They're here! They're here! They're home!"

Emmett groaned. "Trust the Munchkin to crash her own party."

"What party?"

But my question remained unanswered. We passed the doorman, who warmly welcomed me back. We spent a few moments chatting with him while waiting for the elevator. I noticed the secretive glances that passed between him and Emmett, but all of them, Edward included, kept ignoring my attempted questions. As soon as the elevator stopped on the right floor, my suspicions were confirmed once I all but crushed into Alice on the way out.

"_Welcome back_!" she cried, nearly knocking me back into the elevator. I laughed and wrapped my arms around her.

"For God's sake, Munchkin, do you want her to go back to London?" Emmett mock-scolded his cousin, and then untangled me from her grip. "Come on, honey. Everyone is looking forward to see you."

I halted. _Everyone_? I threw Edward a frantic look; he just smiled. The door to Emmett and Rosalie's place was ajar and I approached it hesitantly, dreading what was waiting for me inside. The first thing I saw was an enormous banner that hung over the piano. It read _Welcome home & Congratulations!!!_ There was quite a party inside. There were snacks and drinks on the coffee table, and a cake, and I thought I smelt pizza, too.

There were less people than I had expected, which was a huge relief – just Rosalie, Jasper, Anya, and a few other friends from school. I was overwhelmed, just the same. "Guys, what the hell?"

"It's your homecoming – slash – promotion – slash – engagement party!" Alice announced, and snatched my hand before I could even respond to that. "Let me see the ring, let me see the ring, he didn't let me – _ooooh_, Victorian! And look at that rock! Nice one, Edward!"

"I taught him everything he knows."

Everyone chuckled at Emmett's remark. He beamed at me, but didn't get a chance to say whatever was on his mind because Alice towed me into the living room. Everyone was around me in no time, hugging and laughing and talking at the same time. Their loud voices were making me dizzy, but somehow I kept up with them. Edward shoved a drink into my hand, and I suddenly realized I hadn't eaten since I was waiting for my plane to board.

It was so weird to be back with them. On the one hand, it felt as if I'd never gone, as if I'd always been here with them. At the same time, though, it was as if I'd been away for more than just one year. Everything felt strange to me, but somehow familiar at the same time: Jasper's sarcasm, Rosalie's startling beauty, Anya's hint of an accent. It was as if I had to learn it all anew, but at the same time, it was also at the back of my mind, waiting to resurface.

Finally Emmett approached me carrying a stranger in his arms. I knew who she was, of course, but so far I'd only seen her in pictures. There was something completely overwhelming about actually seeing her squirming and cooing in her father's arms. I felt myself smiling even before we were officially introduced. "Here's your Auntie Bella," Emmett told his baby girl in this funny, squeaky voice that made both of us laugh.

"Hey, little one," I told her as she waved two chubby fists at me. Her eyes were a gorgeous shade of blue, huge and curious. "Gee, Emmett, isn't that fortunate? She looks nothing like you."

Behind me, Edward sniggered. Emmett pretended to scoff, but he clearly couldn't keep his act up for long. "I'll pretend you haven't said that and let you hold her, just because you just got back."

My new ring glimmered in the lamplight as baby Jade switched hands. I turned and smiled at Edward, who obviously caught the spark too, before I brought my attention back to the baby in my arms. She looked remarkably like Rosalie with her fair features. Her tiny hands went for my hair instantly. I laughed in surprise. Edward came to my aid and gently took her from my arms.

"See, Edward is quite the expert now," Emmett commented when Edward held the baby to his chest. I held out my finger for her. Still eyeing me curiously, she grabbed it and tugged. Even though I was so taken by her, the suggestiveness in his tone didn't escape me.

"Ah, give her a rest, Emmett, she just got back," Rosalie interjected before I managed a proper backfire.

"Just giving my sister in law some stuff to think of," he defended himself, and waggled his eyebrows at me as soon as Rose turned her back on him.

We didn't stay much longer at Emmett and Rosalie's. Exhaustion was catching up with me fast, and Edward – even though he was across the room from me – apologized for both of us. It was time to go. I leaned against him on the way to the car. Emmett was driving us so he could return the car on the way back. He helped us with the suitcases – we sent them up the ancient elevator in pairs. Then, telling us he'd check on us later the next day, he left.

I spent good five minutes just standing on the doorway, taking in the sight of the apartment – _our_ apartment. It was the first time I really did think of it as ours. This really _was_ home, after all. I sighed, half with contempt, half with fatigue. It was good to be back.

I jumped a little when Edward's arms wrapped around me. He leaned his chin on the top of my head. I leaned back against his chest. "It was lonely without you," he confessed in a whisper, and his arms tightened just a bit more.

I turned in his arms and flashed a weary smile at him. "But we made it."

"We made it," he echoed, looking as proud as I felt. He lay a brief kiss on my lips. "Come on. Let's get you to bed."

We left the suitcases as they were, in the middle of the living room. We'd have enough time to tackle them tomorrow, or the next day, or during the weekend. We made our way down the dark hallway, and into our bedroom, in weary silence. I stared around me in shock, exhaustion all gone for a brief moment. I wasn't sure what I'd expected, really. The room was immaculate, with not as much as a pillow out of place; I could have sworn the sheets were new.

"You weren't kidding about the housekeeping stuff," was all I could manage, before I turned to shoot him an inquiring look.

Edward ran a hand through his tousled hair, looking sheepish. "I wanted to make myself worthy for you."

"Silly," I murmured, wrapping my arms around his neck. "You don't need to make yourself worthy for me. You already have me without all that. But I do appreciate it," I smiled, dropping a kiss on his nose. "No more laundry fiascoes," I declared, before I yawned hugely.

"I think a shower can wait until tomorrow morning, yes?"

"Until tomorrow afternoon, by the looks of it," I groaned. I was so tired.

He just laughed. "Well, since we're not unpacking any clothes tonight, grab some of mine," he said, nodding towards our closet.

I borrowed one of his longer tee shirts, and crawled into bed while he was making sure everything was locked up properly. I was fighting off sleep when he walked back into the bedroom and began to get ready for bed. I must have dozed off at some point, because when he finally joined me in bed, the shift of the mattress startled me into wakefulness. "Shh… it's okay, it's just me," he soothed me in a murmur. "Go back to sleep, Bella."

I scooted closer to him, and he wrapped his arms around me as I nestled into his warm embrace. His tee shirt smelt clean, and I meant to comment about it, maybe make another laundry joke, but my eyelids were drooping too fast. I felt his fingers threading in my hair, as he whispered, "It's good to have you home, sweetheart."

And with that, I let myself sink into blissful, uninterrupted slumber, finally home; finally back with him.

* * *

**A/N: a pic of Bella's engagement ring is now in my profile. Thanks for reading, everyone, and have a great weekend. Please review, you know you want to :)**


	4. What If

**What If (Bella)**

It had always been weird to be back here, after spending so much time in a bustling city. First it was Phoenix, then New York City, then London and then New York again. It usually wasn't so bad until the sun had set, but once it had, it was as if loneliness had descended upon everything. The silence echoed, complete and nearly frightening, while I was laying in bed, embraced by darkness. It was _too_ quiet, without even a random siren or a car horn to pierce the stillness. Here the only noise was the wind, or the constant tapping of raindrops against glass. I should have been used to this by now, but I guess I was too much of an urban girl to find any consolation in the wonders of nature. For people like my dad, this was a haven of nature. For me, it was lonely rather than comforting.

The silence felt twice as unnerving now, and twice as lonely, with no sound of soft breathing next to me, no warm body to snuggle close to. I twisted and turned restlessly, trying to find a comfortable spot in my suddenly-too-narrow bed. You'd expect I'd get used to sleeping alone after having spent the entire year on my own in London. Apparently, old habit died hard. This time, the weather wasn't the one to blame for my insomnia.

Our wedding was a little over a week away, and Edward wasn't due in Forks until the next day. I came here a few days ago without him – the activities at the community center he was working at had been stretched into the beginning of August and he couldn't be let off. Since there was still a lot to do in preparations for the wedding, we decided I'd go ahead and he'd be here once he finished with work. At least this way I got to spend some time with my dad; I would be moving in with the Cullens once Edward was home. It made more sense than him spending nights here, and most of the preparations were to be done at the Cullens' place, anyway.

I wasn't sure at which point of the night sleep overtook me, but the next thing I remembered was the sound of the stairs creaking beneath hurried footsteps, and a voice I heard just a bit too much in the past few days.

"Here comes the bridesmaid!"

"Alice," I groaned; "Do you have any idea what time it is?" I sat up and watched dazy-eyed as she waltzed across the room to get my window open. It was lighter than I thought, and colder. I pressed my knees to my chest and pulled the covers to my chin.

"Of course I know what time it is, silly! It's dress fitting time! Come on, out of bed you go!"

I groaned again, but did as she said. It was better than having the covers being pulled from me, which she'd done on my first morning home. I stalled at the bathroom, taking my time while washing my face and pulling my hair up, reveling at the few moments of peace and quiet. The closer the wedding was, the more impossible Alice became. I was grateful to have her there and handle everything. I just wished she wasn't such a morning person.

"How did you get in?" I asked once I was back. I was pretty sure Charlie was doing a morning shift today. It was Saturday; he'd always done morning shifts on Saturdays.

"Charlie opened the door for me, of course." She giggled at my puzzled expression. "I asked him to change his shifts because we need to make sure his suit looks okay."

"You're unbelievable," I shook my head, laughing. She was the only one capable of making Chief Swan change his shifts.

My eyes darted to the dress that was now dropped against my made bed. It was covered completely by an opaque plastic bag. I hadn't seen it in its complete form yet. When I left London, it was still a rough sketch, still in the making, but Pam, Ivan's grandmother, promised me she'd work it all out on time. More than I feared it wouldn't fit, I dreaded it would never get here. I had those crazy scenarios running through my head: plane crash, gown lost at sea, delivered to another Alice Brandon, miles away from Seattle. Luckily I was overreacting. It arrived safely at Alice's parents' place just a few days ago.

"I peeked, of course, and it looks _gorgeous_," Alice said as she worked on the zipper of the bag.

I rolled my eyes before I shrugged out of my shirt. "Wow, it actually got Alice's seal of approval?"

"You _should_ be proud. I underestimated you. All these years, you were actually paying attention," she replied, and beckoned me closer. "Now be careful not to tear anything."

It looked shapeless in her hands, gossamer of soft, white fabric. It looked complicated to wear, made out of one piece. I eyed it dreadfully, wondering how I was supposed to tackle it. Sniggering, Alice held it out for me so I could step into it. I closed my eyes and listened to the soft rustle the fabric made. I raised my arms a little to let her zip me up. I looked down on the skirt as she worked on the back. It still looked like a mass of endless white. Hesitantly, I touched the skirt and watched, fascinated, as the fabric whooshed back into place when I let it go. It was this fluidity I loved about this design from the first moment Pam had laid it out for me.

"Okay, you're all set! Let me see," Alice ordered, and tugged at my waist to turn me around. A tiny gasp escaped her, followed by a tender smile. "Perfect," she said, her voice breaking ever so slightly. Then she snapped out of it, took my hand and led me across the room, where my full length mirror was. "Have a look."

I stared at my reflection wide-eyed. My hair was pulled up in a clip, and Alice reached behind me to release it. It tumbled down my shoulders, still a mess, but better somehow. I stepped back a little so I could look more closely. Despite my former fear, the dress felt… right. It didn't feel too loose or too tight. I was still able to breathe and move my legs around. I didn't want anything too puffy or exaggerated. I wanted something classic, simple, more me. It looked like something that had been ripped from a dream, or a fairytale; a princess' gown. I just couldn't wrap my mind around the fact that this was _my_ dress, my wedding gown, no less.

"Let's go show your dad."

She dragged me out of the room, violently shaking me out of my stupor. I grabbed the hem of the gown a second before we dashed down the stairs; I didn't want to risk a trip to the ER a week before my own wedding. I could smell fresh coffee when we reached the bottom floor, so I knew Charlie was probably in the kitchen reading the morning paper. Alice announced our entrance before she pushed me forward. His reaction was similar to hers. He lowered his paper and blinked as I stepped into the room.

"Wow. Honey, you look…" He averted his gaze, to remove a few stray tears, I suspected.

"Wasn't it worth taking the morning off?" Alice chirped. "Think how prettier it would be with the veil and the hair… and the flowers!" she squealed. "I really like the ones we picked out a few days ago, have I told you about them Charlie?"

"Only about a dozen times, honey," Charlie laughed fondly.

"I'm not crazy about lavender and pearly white, but they wanted these theme colors and they can be so _stubborn_," she said, throwing a glare at me. "In _my_ wedding I'll choose something much bolder. Theme colors are a statement," she told Charlie, oblivious to his lack of interest. "Thank goodness I managed to convince Bella to add a bit of pink to her bouquet; it adds a little quirk to all that purple – "

A knock came at the door. I saw Charlie exhale with relief.

"I'll get it," I said.

Alice blocked my way as fast as a cheetah. "It might be Edward."

I rolled my eyes. "Alice, Edward won't be here until much later today."

"Who knows, maybe he got on an earlier flight and he planned to surprise you? And if it _is_ him at the door as I suspect, you're not allowed to open it, because he's not supposed to see you in this dress until the day of!" With that, she stormed away to get the door. I meant to look at Charlie and roll my eyes, knowing he would share my feelings, but when I did, I forgot what I meant to be doing. He was sitting there staring at me. When he realized he'd been caught, he murmured an apology and looked the other way. I could see he was embarrassed by it.

"You look really beautiful, Bells," he murmured, glancing up at me again.

"Thanks, Dad."

He didn't say anything for the longest time. When he looked at me again, his eyes were serious, full of worry, hurt, hope. "I, umm, I know your mother and I weren't an ideal role model for you, but I hope you will use this negative example to, umm, learn a lesson. In your own life, I mean."

"Dad – " I protested. He'd never openly spoken about his marriage to Renée, surely not with me. I'd known everything from my mom, who had always been more outspoken. I knew he considered his disastrous marriage a personal failure, one who could never get over; it made me uncomfortable to listen to him struggling to talk about it now.

"There were times I thought this traveling between two homes was going to ruin your life. I remember watching you grow each summer you came to see me, and thinking how much I was missing out on. Every time you left back to Phoenix I used to wish things were different. I used to imagine what things would be like if you came here to stay. You'd go to school here, maybe date someone from town… in a way, that worked out better than I planned."

I laughed darkly. It _was_ sort of ironic that I ended up marrying Edward, the boy next door as far as Charlie was concerned. Now I couldn't help but wonder; what if I did come here to stay, much earlier than I had? Would it still have been the same between Edward and me? Could we still find each other; would he still be marrying me in a few days?

"When your mom told me she was leaving, she said life had a plan for everyone." I blinked at the sound of Charlie's voice, and my eyes met his. "I'm glad yours have brought you back here." He paused, as if it was a hard confession for him to make. "Now, I might have given you the impression I didn't like Edward; I might have been less supportive than I should have been, but I –"

Loud clamor rose from the front door, making Charlie's speech trail.

"What's going on there?"

His question echoed my thoughts, but at this point the noise ceased just as fast as it rose. It worried me all the same. If it really was Edward, wasn't Alice overacting?

"I'd better go see what this is all about," I said. I reached the doorway when I changed my mind and turned to face him again. "You're wrong about the bad role model, Dad. I'm really proud you're my dad."

I saw him flinch, as if the statement moved him. His smile was sort of tight, as if he was fighting off tears. "I'm really proud you're my daughter." Neither of us said anything for a long moment. Then he cleared his throat and grinned. "Duck when you cross the hallway," he warned me, clearly well familiar with Alice's behavior.

The tones of the conversation lowered considerably by the time I got there, and it was consisted of furious hisses. Edward would have walked passed her by now, which eliminated the possibility of him showing up here earlier as Alice had suspected. My forehead creased, wondering who it might be. Then, in an instant, I realized I knew this voice, and my body tensed. For a second, I was overwhelmed with panic. I hadn't seen him for two summers. I hadn't spoken to him for years. What was he doing here now?

Well, there was only one way to find out.

His voice died out as soon as he caught sight of me from over Alice's shoulder. His jaw dropped when I stepped into the living room. The dress' rustle sounded incredibly loud in the suddenly silenced room. His eyes were still wide with astonishment when I finally approached him.

"Jacob."

"Bella," he replied, looking me over in a way that made me want to cover myself up. "Nice."

"Thank you."

It came out so quietly I wasn't sure he heard it. It was awkward from many reasons – Alice standing there watching us through narrow eyes, me wearing a bridal gown and the fact he was clearly thinking of the what ifs; it could have been him and me by the altar in a few days, had the circumstances been different.

"What… what are you doing here?"

"I came to see you. I see this is bad timing though," he lowered his gaze, probably cowering against Alice's glare.

"_Horrendous_ timing," she asserted. Her tone was acidic.

"I only need a minute," he told me, ignoring her completely.

I turned to face Alice, who was furious, of course. Her face was slightly red, her eyes narrower than before. She wasn't used to being ignored. I struggled not to flinch when I met her scowl. "It's okay," I said, hoping my smile would reassure her, or at least calm her down a bit. It hardly did. Her lips were pressed into a thin line. "If Charlie is finished with his coffee, you can take him upstairs to try on his outfit," I reminded her.

"Fine," she snapped, and stormed out of the room.

I tore my eyes from the place she occupied, and caught him staring at me. As soon as our eyes met he blinked and looked away, flushing. "Sorry," he mumbled.

"Come in," I said duly, and led the way to the living room.

"Look, I know I should have called – "

"What do you want, Jacob?" There was weariness in my voice, and irritation. "I mean, you've been pretty much ignoring me for the past – what, four, five years now? What changed?" I knew I was being unfair. Not being in touch with each other had been partly due to my decision. And he did try to call me at first; I kept ignoring him, until eventually he stopped trying.

"My dad and I got your wedding invitation," he said quietly. From bits and pieces I'd gathered from Charlie through the years, I knew that Jacob still lived with his dad in La Push, where he was tending him. No college, no girlfriend, hardly any friends since most of them had gone their separate ways by now. He had his dad and his bikes, old stuff he had saved from the junkyard and fixed in his garage. While the cause was admirable, it sounded like sad, lonely life. "My dad mentioned you were getting married this summer, but I wasn't expecting an actual invitation. I guess I thought it was a truce, kind of."

"You're Charlie's friends. Of course you are invited."

He winced at my inclusion of him as Charlie's friend, not mine, but he snapped out of it quickly. "Oh. Well, I assumed Cullen would object to me being there."

"_Edward_," I corrected, narrowing my eyes at him, "was the one who thought we should invite you."

"Really?" He seemed genuinely surprised. "That's… nice of him, I guess."

If it was a change of topics he was after, I wasn't going to give it to him. "Are you going to tell me why you're here?"

"I have, sort of. I hoped that invitation meant you changed your mind about things, and I thought I'd come here so we could maybe talk things over. The truth is…" He sighed and looked up at me. "I miss you, Bella. I miss _us_." He must have seen the outrage in my eyes, because he raised his arms in what seemed like self-defense. "No, no, wait, I didn't mean it like that! We used to be best friends." The hint of nostalgia in his voice made my heart ache. "What changed?"

Somehow he knew exactly what to say to tick me off. "You _know_ what changed," I hissed, thinking back of that summer, the first summer Edward and I spent together. "You made it perfectly clear what you thought of me for choosing Edward over you."

"I was an ass – "

"Damn right you were," I dryly agreed.

"But Bells, it was ages ago."

"I don't remember you apologizing any time between then and now."

"I'm sort of trying to do that right now."

"It's not me you should apologize to, Jake." The nickname escaped me without realizing it. I saw a flicker of a smile in his eyes, and I knew he considered it as me wavering.

"I'll drive up to the Cullens' place now if you say it earns me your forgiveness."

"I don't want you to do it for me. I want you to do it because you mean it." It didn't even occur to me that Edward would probably not be there yet, that there was no point of him going there at all.

"Look, you don't know what it's like," he said, and there was strange desperation to his tone. "Ever since I knew him, he always had everything: two parents, nice house, nice car, Ivy League college. Everyone always thought so highly about him and his family, it was almost irritating. I learned to live with it. I knew that there was a difference between the life he had and the kind of life we have in the reservation. And then, as if he didn't have enough, he gets to have the girl, too – _my_ girl – "

"I am _not_ – "

"But you were."

"Is that why you started seeing Lea Clearwater before you told me about it?" He lowered his gaze a little, as if he knew he got himself in trouble. "Just so we're clear, I might have planned to break up with you, but it was _you_ seeing someone behind _my_ back."

"That's not the point, Bella."

"Enlighten me, then. What _is_ the point? Because right now I fail to see it."

"It's exactly like you said. You chose him over me. And why wouldn't you, really? He's smart, I guess he's good looking, he's rich – "

"If we're back on _that_ argument, then _nothing_ changed." I turned to go, but he was blocking my way before I could make two steps. His eyes were boring into mine, burning with urgency. I wanted to look away but he wouldn't let me. I couldn't register how much taller he'd become when he suddenly grabbed my wrist. "Don't do this, Bells. Don't marry him."

"You've got some nerve, Jacob, you know that?" I tried to shake my arm loose, but his grip was stronger. "Ow, Jake, let go!"

"Jacob."

At the sound of the third voice, he let go of my hand instantly. His face turned all grave and serious when Charlie stepped into the room. He had his severe Chief Swan look, but concern flickered in his gaze when our eyes met. I nodded, a silent confirmation I was fine, and cradled my hand in the one that wasn't hurting.

"Hi, Charlie."

"Why, that's a surprise. We haven't seen you around here in, what, years?"

"Yeah, I thought it was time to get back to that."

"Bells, why don't you get upstairs and change before you ruin your dress," Charlie suggested, momentarily turning his back on Jacob. I saw what he was trying to do; I loved him for it.

"Okay." I barely acknowledged Jacob with as much as a look before I went upstairs.

I opened the door to my room a little fretfully, knowing Alice would be furious with me. I knew that even if Charlie had attempted to calm her down, it wouldn't hold when she saw me. And of course, she flung herself at me as soon as I walked it.

"Bella, what the hell? What were you _thinking_ – "

"Could you help me take the dress off, please?" My voice croaked, which caught me off-guard. For a second it felt I was about to cry.

Whatever she saw in my face, it made her restrain her attack almost instantly. "Of course."

She didn't ask me anything about what happened, which was unlike her, but I appreciated she was trying to give me some privacy. She chatted quite loudly, and asked me dozens of other questions about our plans for a honeymoon, clearly trying to distract me from what was going on downstairs. I struggled to keep up with her, not to think of the short exchange between me and Jacob. I hoped Charlie wouldn't make things worse.

Shortly afterwards, to my relief, she announced she had to go. After insisting she didn't need an escort downstairs, I walked her to the door of my room. There she stood on tiptoes and dropped a kiss on the top of my head. "He's not worth it," she said, in a tone so tender it didn't feel like hers. You've made your choice; you've made the _right_ choice. Don't let anything he said pull you down."

"I know I made the right choice." It wasn't that at all. I wasn't having second thoughts. I wasn't sure what was wrong with me, exactly. Maybe the fact of him being here brought the past all rushing back. It wasn't something I'd been prepared for.

I stayed in my room after Alice left. I didn't feel like going downstairs and bumping into Jacob in case he hadn't left yet. I decided to go back to sleep. I thought I deserved a little nap, considering the early wakeup call I'd got. Besides, I wanted time to pass faster so that Edward could finally be here. I felt very lonely all of a sudden. Unfortunately, I wasn't one of those people who fell asleep as soon as their heads touched the pillows. I tossed and turned for a while, but my body felt too alert. I knew I wasn't even close to falling asleep. Frustrated, I kept my eyes closed, hoping tiredness would kick in eventually.

I didn't know how long afterwards there was a knock on the door, and Charlie poked his head in. He muttered something under his breath, as if scolding himself for waking me.

"I'm up, Dad, come in," I said as I sat up.

He nodded and walked in, and apologized anyway as he seated himself on the edge of my bed. "So, umm, I'm off to the station in a bit; I probably won't be back until much later."

I nodded. I'd already figured as much, since Alice had made sure he'd switch his shifts.

"Alice said she'd be at the Cullens' until after dinner, if you want to stop by later."

"Okay," I said, still searching in his eyes the thing he really intended to tell me by coming here.

Luckily, I didn't have to wait long. "Jacob won't bother you again."

"Did you shoot him?" I asked wryly. I couldn't care less if he had.

Charlie shifted uncomfortably. He seemed to be struggling with how to continue. "He was under the impression I… shared his dislike for your choice."

I stared at him in shock. "He tried to ask _you_ to call off the wedding?"

"That was the general hang of it, yeah."

I was too stunned to muster a proper reply.

"Hey, hey, before you snatch my weapon and go after him, you might want to hear what I told him." I pursed my lips and waited. "I explained to even if I don't always agree with your choices, I respect them."

On the surface, it sounded like the beginning of a criticism, but somehow I got the feeling it was an introduction to something else. In a second, we were back at the moment our conversation had been cut off, earlier in the kitchen.

"It's true I wasn't… pleased about you being with Edward, at first. I guess it is sort of two-faced of me after what I've just told you about me wanting you to date someone from town. I guess I was still pinning for you to hook up with Jacob, at the time. But Edward is a good guy, and he loves you. I might not have been happy about it, but I've come to accept it. I told Jake that if he loves you, he has to do the same thing, and if it makes him uncomfortable or upset, then he shouldn't show up to the service on Sunday. But the wedding is on, because this is what you want."

I'd never heard Charlie make such a long speech. I'd never heard him speak in Edward's favor so explicitly. "Where did that come from?" I wondered aloud.

"You're my daughter. I want what's best for you. At some point of the way I… stopped thinking of the what ifs. Who knows what could have happened. You could have done it my way, be with Jacob, and repeat the same mistake your mother and I made, and then I would have spent the rest of my life blaming myself for that, too. If you want to marry Edward, I have no right to tell you otherwise, and neither does Jake."

Emotion conquered speech. I threw my arms around him and buried my head in the crook of his shoulder when his arms slowly tightened around me. "I love you, Dad."

"I love you too, baby. More than you know." He pulled away and ran a hand down my cheek. "I'll leave you so you could get some sleep." I nodded and lay back down. He chuckled to himself as he tucked the covers around me. "I've always wanted to do that." The smile still ghosted on his lips when he gently pressed them to my forehead. "Sleep tight, Bells."

I woke up possibly hours later to the strangest sensation of someone stroking my hair, gently enough to lull me back to sleep. It felt too real so I knew I wasn't dreaming, but then again it only felt like… it could only be…

My eyes fluttered open and there was Edward, kneeling by my bed, smiling tenderly. His hand stilled near my temple and slid down my face, where his fingers drew small circles on my cheek. I leaned my face into his palm and closed my eyes again, only to remember there was no way he could have entered here unless he somehow climbed through the window. My eyes snapped open.

"Charlie called me," he said as I sat up. He came to sit on the side of the bed. "I stopped at the station to take his keys."

I was about to ask since when Charlie was calling him when his next words hit.

"He told me what happened with Jacob."

I lay back down, but held the covers back for him. "Come here."

He didn't hesitate. He kicked his shoes off and joined me. He wrapped his arms around me as soon as he lay down. I rested my head against his chest. "Are you okay?"

"I am now." I felt his lips press to the top of my head. I cuddled closer. "What did Charlie tell you?"

"He was just worried about you, that's all."

Something in his tone implied that he didn't want to talk about it; the same thing that suggested that maybe Charlie told him more than he had told me. I should have cared, maybe, but I didn't. I didn't want to dwell on it just now. Edward was back, and he was here, and that was the only thing that mattered.

"Stay the night," I murmured.

"I already told my mom I won't be coming home tonight," he replied, and his arms tightened around me ever so slightly.

"Have you ever thought…" I started, but soon changed my mind. But it was too late to take the question back. He poked my waist, wordlessly wondering what I meant to say. "Have you ever asked yourself what would have happened if I came to live here, say, ten years ago?"

"No."

The answer, and the resolute tone in which he uttered it, surprised me; I wasn't sure why. I shifted a little so I could look at him.

"If you came to live here, say, ten years ago, who knows if we ended up together," he admitted, smiling sheepishly.

"We might have."

"But we might not. It's a fifty-fifty chance. So I'd rather not think about the what ifs and focus on the present in which I'm marrying you next week," he said, sounding a little smug.

I smiled. "I like this plan."

"So do I," he nodded, his lips meeting mine halfway.

And when I drifted off to sleep in his arms that night, I thought he was right. Who needed what ifs, anyway?


	5. Until Tomorrow

**Until Tomorrow (Bella)**

I thought it was the silence that woke me. There was absolutely no sound from outside, not even raindrops against the windows. Hmm. Maybe we were in for a nice weather after all. Maybe, if we were lucky, it would hold until tomorrow. I felt my lips curl in an idiotic smile when I caught sight of Edward's sleeping face. He was curled on his side facing me. His breathing was soft but heavy, like he was deeply asleep. My smile widened an inch. It was still hard to believe that by tomorrow evening, I could call him my husband.

I wasn't sure what time it was, but I guessed I might as well get up. There was a lot to do today. We had escaped Alice and Emmett's intended bachelor party, announcing we were going to cook dinner for our families on the night before the wedding. It was our way to thank them for doing so much for us to make this wedding happen on time. Edward had set up the date, thus preventing Emmett from road tripping to some random strip club in Seattle. I didn't even want to imagine what Alice had for me in store.

We'd already come up with recipes for this evening, and although we made sure we had most of the ingredients home already, I knew for a fact Esme had to use some of them a few days ago to make pizza for Emmett. So I had to go to the supermarket and renew our stocks. I thought that since I was already up, I'd drive to the supermarket right now and get that part of the task over with. There was no reason why we would both go; I could definitely do it on my own.

I crawled out of bed carefully, hating to bother him when he looked so peaceful. He didn't even shift as I walked in and out of the bathroom, got dressed and found my bag and his car keys. Normally I wouldn't touch his car – I was terrified to damage it somehow. I searched his desk for something to write on. When I found a stack of purple post-its I scribbled a quick note and placed it on the pillow next to him.

Esme was awake, sipping coffee in the kitchen. I told her where I was headed, and she offered I'd take her car. Esme's car was the only one I'd ever feel comfortable enough driving at. Emmett and Edward had inherited their passion for giant, fast cars from Carlisle. Esme's car was old and battered; my kind of car. I thanked her and traded Edward's keys with hers.

The only supermarket in town was a short way off the police station where Charlie worked. It was open despite the early hour. The front parking lot was big enough to contain twice the cars that were probably in town; right now there were about three cars in it, and those probably belonged to staff. I found a spot close to the entrance, and jogged inside to escape the morning drizzle.

I strolled along the shelves, stopping every now and again to add something to my cart. We were going to make Italian tonight because it was considerably little work and, like Edward had pointed out, we couldn't really go wrong with it. Besides, everyone loved Italian, even baby Jade. I was going through the recipes in my head as I reached for stuff from random shelves, all the while wondering if there was something we'd missed, something else we needed.

Finally, there was nothing left on my list except canned tomatoes, which I couldn't spot anywhere. They'd made some changes in locations of stuff since the last time I'd been here, so things weren't where I'd remembered them to be. And then I found it, and mentally groaned. It was on the top shelf, one I couldn't reach to with my arm outstretched all the way.

While arguably shorter than the average costumer, I was definitely better-skilled. I made sure the aisles on my both sides were empty before I stood on my toes and reached out for the can. It dropped easily into my cart. I smiled to myself as I slowly lowered myself to the floor.

"You must be Isabella Swan."

I turned back with a start. The voice, right behind me, belonged to a girl who looked more or less my age, but taller. She wore a black jogging suit, and there was a pink top peeking from underneath the jacket. She wore the hood of the jacket over her head, probably against the drizzle. As if she'd just remembered that fact, she swept it off now, and I could see the golden highlights in her hair, which was pulled back into a ponytail. She seemed to have entered the supermarket on a whim; she didn't have a cart or anything, just one of those energy milkshakes she was holding. There was something vaguely familiar about her, but I couldn't really place it, especially after being taken by surprise like that.

"How do you know my name?"

"Oh, I think everyone knows your name," she shrugged, and I couldn't decide if her tone meant mockery or dismissal. Either way, her statement didn't seem to please her. She motioned the shelf with her eyebrows, and brought her eyes back to me. "That was a nice trick you just did. But if you needed help, you could just ask."

I hated the way she was looking at me; it made me feel as if I was five. I narrowed my eyes at her. I didn't know her, but I disliked her already. "As it appears, I got by pretty well, but thank you."

"More than well, by what I hear." Something in her voice told me she meant more than reaching out for a high shelf at the supermarket. And of course, I was right. Her gaze zeroed on my engagement ring before she said, "You're marrying Edward Cullen tomorrow."

"Do you know Edward, then?"

"Oh, do I," she chuckled darkly, and gave me that superior look again. "I'm Jessica Stanley."

As soon as she said her name, I realized I _had_ seen her before. Her photo with Edward was no longer on the Cullens' mantelpiece, but there were quite a few photos of her in Edward's yearbook, and I got a few quick glances in it over the years.

"You _have_ heard of me, I suppose?"

"Oh, have I."

Her eyes narrowed, as if my backfire, echoing her own words, irritated her. "It's strange it took us all this time to meet each other. I heard a lot about _you_, of course; Chief Swan's dancer daughter." The look she'd given me implied she wasn't that impressed with what she had known. "I think it's quite ironic, really. Edward has never been keen on dancing, and here he is, marrying a dancer."

There was a hint of scorn in her dark stare as she eyed my heavy raincoat, which was hung against the back of the cart. I felt unkempt in my worn out jeans and flannel shirt. The ring on my finger suddenly weighted a ton. I wanted to grab my cart and wheel it away from there, away from her, but I didn't seem able to. I didn't want to stand there and listen to the rest of the nasty things she had to say to me, but at the same time, I couldn't walk away. "People change," I replied eventually, flinching at the quiver of my own voice. I thought I saw her features twitch in a victorious smile.

"I'll say;" there was the tiniest hint of viciousness in her voice. "I've never thought you were his type."

My eyes narrowed as her insult hit home. "That's funny. I was thinking the same thing about you."

Apparently, she was unrelenting. "How is Edward these days? I haven't seen him in so long. I might stop by at the Cullens' place later to… pay him my good wishes personally."

"Oh, I don't think he'll be available later. He'll have his hands full."

"Well," she half huffed, half scoffed, flushing bright pink with what seemed like annoyance. "In that case, tell him I said congratulations. I'm happy for both of you."

"Of course," I replied, imitating the way she was sort of batting her lashes.

She stifled another scoff. "It was nice knowing you."

"And you. I'll tell him you said hi." I turned my back on her then, feeling awful and yet strangely proud of myself at the same time.

While I was driving back up to the Cullens' place, I couldn't shake off the guilt that began to consume me about halfway there. I shouldn't have done that. I shouldn't have spoken to her like that, no matter how stupidly jealous I was. Inferiority was reflexive almost. Anyone would be dwarfed in comparison to her cheerleader glow. I knew it was silly and unreasonable. _I_ was marrying Edward. I got to keep him; she didn't. And yet, meeting Jessica Stanley after having being teased about her by Emmett all this time made her more real, more than just a myth.

I went back upstairs after dropping the bags in the kitchen. Jade's stroller wasn't in the living room when I walked in, and Sophie was nowhere to be found, so I assumed Emmett had taken them for a walk. The hallway was still quiet and deserted when I snuck back into Edward's bedroom; it was still dark. He was sprawled on his back, fast asleep. The note I'd left him found its way to the floor at some point of my absence.

I kicked my shoes off, and walked towards the bed. I crawled under the covers and pulled the blankets over our heads as I lowered myself on top of him. His eyes snapped open; his lips were half open with a choked gasp.

"Shh, it's just me," I whispered, laying a hand against his chest. His body was warm beneath the thin material of his tee shirt. His heart was flying under my palm.

Slowly, as if he needed a moment to absorb this, he lay his hands on my waist. His brow furrowed with confusion when his fingers made contact with the rough material of my jeans. "Where have you been?" he murmured in a voice thick with sleep. His hands lingered on my skin just above the waistline of my jeans; his thumbs were drawing slow, lazy circle there.

"I went shopping."

My reply puzzled him. "Why?"

"Because we're cooking dinner today, remember?"

"Oh." He stifled a yawn and looked up at me, his eyes are still glassy from sleep. "Does that mean I have to get up now?"

"Nah, I think you can have a few minutes to spare," I murmured before I pressed my lips to his throat. He groaned my name whenever I sucked on his skin a moment too long. His fingers threaded in my hair when I playfully nibbled at the neckline of his tee shirt, letting my fingers wander beneath his shirt. He held me with what felt like impatience, and I smiled and shifted a little so my face would hover just above his. "Hi."

But instead of a reply, he cupped my cheek and brought my head down so that my lips descended on his. The way he kissed me implied he was very much awake now. The determination in which our lips moved against one another was a little soothing after my insecurities on my way back here. I kissed him back with the same urgency, wanting to make sure this was really what he wanted, telling myself it wouldn't be late to pull back if it wasn't.

He rolled us over gently and slowly pulled away from me, giving both of us a chance to gain some lost oxygen. His arms were still around me somehow, even though he was holding the covers up with one hand to create a sort of a tent over our heads. "What brought this on?"

"I didn't think you'd mind it," I grinned.

"Oh, I don't," he grinned back. "I'm just… curious."

He knew something was up. This much was clear. And he didn't mean to let go until I told him. Clearly, he saw it was bothering me. I untangled myself from around him, and took a deep breath. I hoped my voice wouldn't betray me. "I ran into an old friend of yours."

"Who?"

"Jessica Stanley." I raised my eyes to meet his, unsure what I was expecting to find there. His heartbeat didn't even pick up. Only his hands froze on my skin, holding me a little tighter. "She got me thinking."

"About?"

"About whether a boring, ordinary ballet dancer is really what you want."

He didn't say anything for the longest time, and for a moment I wished I could read his mind. I hoped his reaction would provide me with the answers I needed, but it kept me further in the dark. "Why would you say that, Bella?"

"She's very pretty," I offered in what I hoped was a nonchalant, non-caring tone.

"She is," he nodded; "but you know what?" He didn't give me a chance to reply when he pinned me to the mattress. "I prefer brunettes; _especially_ boring, ordinary ballet dancers." He leaned over and kissed me again, but before I could kiss him back, he pulled away again and looked straight at me. His eyes were huge, serious. "Don't be silly."

"I'm not."

"You are. I know what's going on in that head of yours." But in his soft voice, it didn't sound like an insult. "I won't change my mind a day before the wedding just because you happened to meet my ex girlfriend. Whatever she told you to make you so insecure, you should know better than listen to her. If I wanted her back, I had plenty of opportunities in the past to get her back. If I wanted to call off the wedding I would have done it much sooner. All of which loosely translates into, I'm marrying you tomorrow, Isabella Swan, whether you want to or not."

I barely had a chance to absorb all this when his lips pressed to mine again with the same urgency as before. "I want to," I breathed in between frenzied kisses.

"Good." He laughed softly and messed with my hair a little more. "It's not like you to throw jealousy fits. I half expected to get this after the whole Claire situation and it never came by, so now…"

I guessed I should have been more fussed about him being interested in Claire who, in a way, did form a threat to our relationship, as opposed to Jessica who was history, had been for a while now. Even after coming clean about meaning to kiss Claire at some point, it never got to a point of me throwing a jealousy fit as he'd just put it. I wasn't sure what was so different about Jessica, but the situation unnerved me all the same.

"I don't know what's wrong with me," I admitted a little sheepishly.

"I do. It's just nerves." I laughed as he dropped a kiss on my nose. "Now come on. We've got a lot of work to do today."

A little reluctant, but much more reassured, I took the hand he offered me and followed him out of bed.

xoxox

It was a busy day, and by the time we began to get dressed for dinner, I was exhausted. Carlisle got back early from work, followed by Jasper and an overly enthusiastic Alice, who picked up Renée and Phil from the inn they were staying at. Charlie arrived shortly afterwards, straight from work, but not in his uniform. Emmett had already set that annoying video camera of his and made everyone congratulate us. When he started a long speech about the pros and cons of having our honeymoon in a cabin in the mountains, Edward threatened to stick the camera in the oven.

Dinner went pretty smoothly, aside for a few teasing comments courtesy of Emmett and Jasper, of course. Carlisle kept Charlie busy asking him about a case, which was clever – at least he wouldn't spend the evening gazing wistfully at my mom and Phil. Renée, characteristically enough, was everywhere at the same time – complimenting Edward and me on our cooking, commenting on something Rosalie said across the table from her, keeping up with Esme's anecdotes. And all the while I was sitting there hardly tasting anything as I tried to wrap my mind around the fact that Edward and I were getting married in less than twenty four hours.

Towards the end of dinner, after dessert was served, I could still feel the warmth in my cheeks as a result of everyone's flatteries when Carlisle cleared his throat and smiled at me. I felt Edward tense beside me and I could feel myself blushing harder at what I knew was coming.

And, expectantly enough, Carlisle reached for his wine glass. "This isn't a rehearsal dinner, but I'd still like to say a few words, if I may." He was addressing Edward directly, and a shadow of a grin flitted across his lips as if he sensed Edward's distress. His face was slightly red, a perfect reflection of my own, I knew.

"When a few years ago we found out Edward was seeing Bella, I was more pleased than I let him see. Of course, he hasn't said anything right away. No, he's been all secretive about it for a while." Everyone chuckled and snorted at that, at which Edward shrank in his seat. "I guess he's a little like his father in that way."

Carlisle smiled fondly at Edward, who still looked a little flustered, and continued as if he didn't notice. Then his grin was aimed at me; from the corner of my eye, I saw Edward shift uncomfortably.

"I remember the first time I suspected something might be going on between these two. It was during the summer, right after Bella has been accepted into Juilliard."

I blinked and turned to Edward, who looked mortified. He'd never mentioned that. We'd never spoken about that summer, my last one with Jacob. I didn't even know he thought about me at that time, after one brief encounter at the auditions. Clearly, I should have known better.

"It's funny, the surprises life sets out for us. I've known Charlie most of my adult life. And yet, to have our children find each other miles away from here, and in a place like New York City, no less – "

"It's like gravitation force," Emmett muttered, unflinching against Rosalie's glare.

"I remember seeing Bella as a child, spending summers here. But the first time I realized Charlie's little girl wasn't a little girl anymore was when Emmett and Rosalie got married."

It felt as if everyone's eyes were set on me. I shrank in my seat, my cheeks flaring. From the corner of my eye I saw Emmett beaming at me, as if him marrying Rosalie was the only catalyst for Edward and me getting together.

"I remember looking at you thinking this is the kind of girl I'd like my son to have," Carlisle continued, looking straight at me. "From one wedding to another, tomorrow we'll come a full circle. It wasn't easy, getting here. This passing year was especially difficult for the two of you, but you made it. I believe that if you got through that, you can get through anything." He smiled at us as he raised his glass. "Here's to many more years together."

His statement was followed by a variety of cheers and clanging of glasses. I was too overwhelmed to speak. I lowered my gaze, hoping he wouldn't be able to notice the sudden tears in my eyes. Edward, who clearly did, squeezed my hand beneath the table.

"Erm, the father of the bride?" Emmett asked. The grin was somehow audible in his voice.

I looked up. Charlie turned red almost instantly, and tried to protest as they all pleaded with him to speak. Eventually he relented, but his cheeks were still tainted pinkish red when he began to speak. "Carlisle has just said that the first time he realized my daughter wasn't a little girl anymore was a few summers ago. For me, it was only a few days ago, when I saw her wearing her wedding dress."

He looked straight at me as he said it, and in that moment, I felt it didn't matter we hardly spent time together in the past twenty-something years. I remembered being envious of the bond Emily and Nathan had, but I realized now that somehow, my bond with Charlie was just as strong.

"Bella and Edward both know how I feel, and I won't tire you out with repeating all that. I _can_ tell you that when I'm wrong, I say I'm wrong. Yes, I thought Bella could do better, at first, but I don't think that anymore." There was nothing but trust in his eyes when he locked his gaze with Edward's. "I'll be honored to call you my son-in-law. There's no one else I would want for my daughter."

"Thanks, Charlie," whispered Edward, looking as emotional as I felt.

"To Eddie and Bellie!" Emmett bellowed. Everyone responded by yelling their own congratulations, or echoing Emmett's, touching their glasses with one another's again. For once not carrying for Emmett's presence – or anyone else's – I leaned over and pressed a kiss to Edward's lips. It made the volume of their cheers and greetings increase. Even baby Jade joined the cheering, waving her arms in every which direction.

It was a bit after ten when the party began to break up. Renée and Phil turned to go first. Charlie stood up shortly afterwards, and even though I was across the room, I saw the look that passed between him and Alice. I tensed, instantly on my guard. She had kept quiet throughout the evening, but what if she planned to drag me into a party now? How could I possibly get away with it?

I knew it wasn't just intuition when Alice came over to me. "Come on, Bella, it's time to go," she chirped.

"Erm, why?"

She rolled her eyes as if I was missing something very obvious. "Really, Bella, you didn't really think of spending the night here, did you? _He_," she said, throwing Edward a meaningful look, "is not supposed to see you until tomorrow!"

"Alice – " Edward started, an attempt to protest, no doubt.

"No way," she cut him off, pulling me by the arm and away from him. "You chose the theme colors, the dress, the location of your honeymoon, and you intercepted any plan we had to throw you a decent party. We're doing this _my_ way, so you might as well say goodnight while I get Bella's bag and coat."

"But I didn't even pack – "

"I already got an overnight bag ready for you, silly."

Her angelic smile didn't stop me from sulking. I threw Edward a pleading look, but he just shrugged, not even bothering to hide his grin. "It looks like it's out of my hands."

"I'm glad you're finally catching on!" Alice rejoiced as she took the stairs twos by twos to get my things.

"Sorry, kids," Charlie grinned crookedly, unflinching even when Edward wrapped his arms around me. I leaned back against his chest, a reflexive response. "I know better than betting against Alice."

"Aww, don't worry, lovebirds. You'll have plenty of alone time after tomorrow," said Emmett, wriggling his eyebrows suggestively.

Edward didn't respond, although I could feel that he wanted to, by the way his grip tightened ever so slightly.

Alice was back all too soon, carrying my bag and coat as promised. She handed the coat to Edward. "You're allowed to walk us to the door, but that's about it."

"_Us_?" I echoed as Edward helped me slip my arms in the sleeves.

Alice already had her impish grin on. "You'll need a lot of help in the morning."

I snorted, stopping myself from asking if this was the best she could come up with. Looking up at Edward, he seemed to be thinking the same thing. He kept one arm around me as they all walked us to the door. It was hard to remember everyone else was still around when I stopped on the doorway and turned to look at him. His eyes burned dark emerald, blissful, but also sorrowful because of our separation.

"Good night," I mumbled reluctantly, resisting the urge to glare at his cousin, who was bouncing impatiently behind me.

"Until tomorrow," he smiled, and leaned over to drop a kiss on the top of my head.

Alice unceremoniously tugged on my arm, and the next thing I knew we were out in the chilly night, everyone's loud goodbyes leading our way. I looked back before going into Charlie's cruiser. Among their gleeful faces, his face stood out. There was nothing but a tiny grin across his face as he stood there, his arms folded across his chest. I waved at him before I went in the car, but Alice shut the door in my face before I got a chance to see if he returned it. His expression, still engraved in my memory long after we took off, eased my forced departure. His smile reflected the tumble of emotion that made my heart swell. His words remained with me even when I got ready for bed that night, making my body tingle with anticipation – _until tomorrow_.

**

* * *

**

A/N: since this is the last outtake (for now), you can all guess what the final chapter is about. Stay tuned for chapter alerts to see if you were right. Bye, y'all, until tomorrow ;)


	6. Grace

**This oneshot is written a little differently, in present tense with flashbacks. It came out insanely long, but I didn't think you'd mind it. As of now, this is the last thing I've written for what has become an epic fic. I changed the story's status to 'complete', but that's not to say there might be some additional scenes at some point. I might surprise you… and myself.**

**As always, reviews are muchly appreciated. Happy reading =)**

**

* * *

**

Grace (Edward)

"Mr. Cullen, do you want to hold your daughter?"

I blink, and stare emptily at the nurse. Her smile is polite yet warm. Another second passes before I realize she is addressing me, still awaiting my reply. I'm dizzy, half with exhaustion, half with relief. My ears are still ringing, and the cacophony in the room, consisting of conversing nurses and wailing newborns, isn't helping. Everything sounds louder than it should be. There's an echo to it; it sounds unreal. I still feel a little queasy; I expect my legs to give way any moment. For a moment I'm not even sure I'm conscious; I might have fainted without even realizing that I have. But it all ceases to exist when my mind finally wraps itself around the meaning of the question I've left unanswered.

There's a squirming bundle in the nurse's arms, and her smile widens in wordless encouragement as she gently places it in arms I have no recollection of outstretching. Understanding is written into her every movement. Clearly, I'm not the first father she's come across.

Then it hits me and I gasp. The entire room swims about me. Dizziness is worse than ever before. Despite all those, I hold on to the bundle in my arms as tightly as I dare.

I'm a father.

I'm hardly aware of the tears I can feel streaming down my face as I take in the sight of her. I've seen her briefly before, but I've been more worried about Bella being taken care of to really look. She's not crying anymore. She looks up at me without really seeing anything. I stare at her; she stares back. She looks tiny to me, but the nurse assures me she's perfectly fine. Her skin is still unnaturally pink, but I don't allow myself a moment of panic. She's hardly an hour old, and already I'm in a complete awe by her, my daughter – _our_ daughter. To me, she's perfect.

xoxox

Thoughts about her would always bring me back to Christmas, especially the one we spent in London two years ago. Bella joined the English National Ballet for their holiday performances that year, and I came over during my break so she wouldn't have to spend Christmas alone. I was looking forward to it; she hadn't been home for nearly two months. We spent Christmas Eve with Nathan, Claire and Emily, and went back to Bella's place, an apartment in one of London's trendiest hotels, provided to her by the company.

"I'm really glad you came over," she told me when we finally got in bed that night.

"I'm really glad I came over too," I replied and held her tighter. She rested her head against my chest and exhaled slowly. I knew she must be exhausted; the last couple of months had been intensive. And yet, there was something strange about her; she felt too tense. I thought I sensed her heart racing, but I didn't think much of it; not until she started speaking, anyway.

"There's, umm, something I want to say." She shifted a little so she could face me. I looked at her questionably. Her face gave nothing away. I waited. "I've been thinking about it for a while, and… well, I keep meaning to bring it up, but there's always something else to do at home, so I never… and I hoped that since we're both here, there would be no distractions and I could finally…"

It wasn't like her to ramble. She had only done that when she was nervous about something. I thought I detected faint blush creep onto her cheeks, but it was too dark to know for sure. "Are you going to tell me, or do I need to get it out of you somehow?"

She didn't return my grin. Her gaze was intense on mine. "It's… sort of serious."

"Do you want a divorce?"

She chuckled darkly. "You're not that lucky."

"What is it, then?"

"Well… remember how during our honeymoon, we said it would be okay to wait, about having a baby?"

I had a rather clear idea as for where this was going by now, but I was too stunned to speak. All I managed was a weak nod. I tried to tell myself she wasn't really going to say what I thought – what I _hoped_ – she was.

Her eyes, still boring into mine, suggested otherwise. "I don't want to wait anymore."

And it was that day all over again, the day she had proposed. All speech evaporated, all thought turned into dust. "Bella…"

"I've been taking those damn pills forever so it's going to take time, but if I stopped taking them, maybe we could try… I mean, if you want?"

For the longest time, my tongue was tied. I didn't have the faintest idea this was what she had in mind. I'd been thinking about it myself for a while, but no time had ever felt right enough to bring it up. And now, knowing she was thinking the same thing…

A poke at my chest shook my out of my astounded reverie. I blinked, and my eyes met hers again. The expectancy in them reminded me I hadn't answered her question yet. I didn't think words could contain everything I wanted to tell her, so I kissed her instead. She responded immediately, her entire body molding against mine as she kissed me back over and over again. I rolled us over, and then slowly pulled away from her.

"Is that a yes?" she breathed, grasping my hair when I trailed my lips down her throat.

"That's a yes," I whispered, pressing a kiss to the hollow of her throat; "And a yes," with another kiss, to the spot just beneath her chin; "And a yes."

And so we started trying.

xoxox

When the nurse tells me I can go ahead and see Bella, I'm almost reluctant to hand the baby back to her. She laughs softly and promises to bring her into Bella's room right away. My arms feel strangely empty when I leave the room. It's ridiculous to miss her already, but I do. Anxiety washes over me, instant and unfamiliar. I know she's in good hands, but I can't stand to be unable to see that she's okay. I find myself wonder if this is how things are going to be from now on. I'm in too blissful a mood to care.

I wash my face and head towards the waiting room to spend a few minutes with my family. Bella and I were both hesitant when my father suggested she'd have the baby in the hospital he had been working at instead of in New York. At the same time the proximity of my family and her father comforted her, I knew Bella wasn't too keen on the idea of making this journey across the country at eight months pregnant. Eventually, after considering the pros and cons carefully, we left Emmett in charge on our place, and headed west. In the long run, it is the wisest thing we could do. Knowing my parents are nearby soothes me, even in the frenzy of the last several hours.

The waiting room is nearly empty. My mother is here, as well as Alice, who has flown over especially from Miami. Charlie appears on the other side of the hallway; I assume he is back from calling Renée. My father is nowhere to be seen. My mother is on her feet as soon as she spots me. She shoves a bottle of juice into my hands, and I empty half of it in one gulp. Charlie catches up with me by then. There are dark circles beneath his eyes. He came here straight from a double shift, and I know he hasn't slept for nearly twenty four hours. He looks anxious, but Alice jumps forward before I make half a move. She hugs him and assures him Bella is fine. They're all beaming at me, but I'm too weary to react to their excitement. Eventually I excuse myself, and hurry forward to Bella's room.

The door is ajar, and I shut it on the way in. Her bed is at the farthest end of the room by the window. The bed next to hers is empty. She doesn't turn or look up when I enter. When I approach her bed, I see she's fast asleep. It's not a peaceful slumber; she looks in pain. Her forehead is cringed in a tiny frown. Her hair is still pulled back in a plait, but most of it has managed to escape by now. I reached out to smooth it away from her face. I'm careful, but the motion shakes her awake anyway. A gasp escapes her as she jolts.

"Shh, it's okay," I whisper, gently pushing her backwards when she tries to sit up.

"Where is she?"

The question is hasty, frantic. I laugh. It seems we have this new anxiety in common. "The nurse will bring her over in a second."

This reassures her. She sighs and her head falls back on the pillow as she closes her eyes. She looks drained, as pale as a ghost. Even her lips are colorless. For a moment I think she's fallen back into sleep – or worse – but her hand slips along the mattress, searching. I cover her hand with mine. She laces our fingers together. Her grip is weak but confident.

"Do you want me to get you some water?"

"No, don't leave me." Her eyes snap open; they are wide with fright. Her grip is suddenly stronger.

"I'm not going anywhere," I assure her. I lean over to kiss her forehead. Her skin feels hot beneath my lips.

As soon as I take a seat beside her bed, she takes my hand again. It seems to calm her down. "Have you seen her?"

"I have. She's perfect." My throat feels tight when I speak about her – our baby. The swell of emotion within me is impossible to describe or contain.

"Could you…" Her voice cracks. She clears her throat and tries again. "My mom. We haven't – She doesn't – "

"Charlie has already called her. And he's right outside."

She nods and shifts. A whimper escapes her before she manages to hold it back. I'm back on my feet in a second. "I'm fine," she tells me, biting her bottom lip. I know she's lying; her face is contorted in pain. It pulls me back to the horror of the delivery room. I can still hear her screams and weeping in my mind, where it lingers. I can still see her sweaty forehead, her squirming body, wriggling with pain, and me, helpless beside her, hoping it would all be over soon. She has refused an epidural shot that could have made things easier on her. She isn't trying to be brave. I've known better than speaking against her decision. I know the reason behind it, and I respect her choices. As slim a chance as it is, one wrong move can cause permanent damage to her back, and she will never be able to dance again.

xoxox

Not being able to dance was the thing that had scared her most from the very beginning. Even though she was the one who had initiated the baby plan, I could sense her hesitation. She knew it would have consequences on her career at the company, and I knew it frightened her. I assumed they'd understand; we'd been married for four years, and I knew for a fact people had asked her about starting a family, always half teasing, half serious. I'd always brushed off her concerns about breaking the news to her managers, if and when she got pregnant. We'd cross that bridge when we got to it, I told her. She was doing so well with the New York City Ballet; it seemed pointless to worry with no reason.

In the middle of October I got an urgent phone call while grading papers in the teachers' lounge. It was the stage manager of the New York City Ballet, informing me very gravely that Bella had an accident, and if I could please come over. Having the advantage of working across the street from one another, I was at the theatre in less than ten minutes.

They had just moved their rehearsals into the theatre a few days ago as dress rehearsals for their new production started. The theatre was dark and misty when I stepped in. She was in the front row, half sitting, half laying there. Some of her colleagues were around her. One of them held a cloth to her forehead. Another placed a water bottle in her hand. Bella nodded, but didn't take a sip. When she saw me, she closed her eyes and groaned. "I asked them not to call you."

The girl who held the cloth to Bella's forehead gave me her seat. I thanked her and took the cloth from her hand. As I placed it against Bella's forehead, I observed her closely. She was still asleep when I left this morning, but she looked fine. Now she looked pale, exhausted, and her forehead was shining as if she had a fever. "What happened?"

"I… suddenly got really dizzy. Jeremy caught me right before I hit the floor." She tried to smile, but she was clearly putting effort into it. "I'm fine now, really."

"I'm taking you home." It wasn't a question. She looked like hell. There was no way I was leaving her here. Dress rehearsal or not, there was no way she was dancing in this state today.

"That's hardly necessary – "

"Home. Now. No arguments." The voice that echoed my thoughts belonged to Bella's stage manager, who was suddenly there. He gave her a stern look, and nodded at me. "Thank you for coming so quickly."

"Thank you for calling me." I wrapped an arm around her. She rested her head against my shoulder. Her body felt limp against mine.

"I've let it go when it happened a few days ago," her manager told her. I stared at her wide-eyed as this new piece of information sank in; it happened before? "Take today off. Leanne will dance your part."

"Okay," she whispered, but I could see she didn't like it.

I took her home, and called the school to say I wouldn't be coming back. Fortunately, I didn't have any classes scheduled for the rest of the day, but I had a meeting with a student; I asked the secretary to postpone it, and to apologize on my behalf. When I walked into our bedroom with some tea for her, she was sitting in bed, staring absentmindedly at the opposite wall. Wearing a pale pink tee shirt, her skin looked nearly translucent. I handed her the mug. She thanked me with a faint smile. "Don't you have a meeting to get to?"

"I cancelled it, just now."

"Edward, you don't have to – "

"Don't even try," I mock-threatened, sitting beside her. I watched her as she brought the mug to her lips and took a tiny sip. She winced as if the steaming liquid burnt her tongue, and lowered it to her lap. "Your manager mentioned it had happened before?"

Her eyes widened ever so slightly, as if with fear for getting caught. Then she slowly nodded. "It wasn't as bad before, though."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because you have your own problems to worry about."

"Bella, do I really have to tell you you're top priority, especially if you're sick?"

"I'm not sick."

Protest froze halfway up my throat at the sight of her expression. I said nothing, just waited.

"I think I'm pregnant."

My heart stilled, and began to thump twice as fast. "You're…" My voice trailed; I couldn't bring myself to say it. We'd been there before, getting excited and worked up for nothing. It could have been just another false alarm.

She nodded, and her eyes remained intent and serious on mine. "I'm almost three weeks late. I've been feeling really queasy lately. Remember last week when you brought in those chicken sandwiches?"

I did. They were her favorites, and she couldn't even look at them.

"I have a doctor's appointment in a few days, but I didn't want to say anything until I was sure… What happened today sort of ruined my plans."

"It's okay," I whispered, still completely at awe. It all fit. Of course, it had to be that. This time, it was for real. "When… I mean how long…"

"I think it was September. Around my birthday."

I did a quick calculation in my head. Nine months from September were… I looked up at her, and she nodded, her smile widening an inch as if my expression amused her. There was this glimmer in her eyes as if she was thinking of exactly the same thing. We were going to have a baby in May. My eyes wandered to her stomach, which was flat. "Do you feel anything at all?"

"I don't _think_ so. If I do, I think it's because I'm trying too hard."

"Isn't it… too soon?"

She laughed softly. "There aren't rules, you know. It can take years… or months, apparently." Her eyes were gleaming when they locked with mine. "I think this is it."

And of course, she was right.

xoxox

The hiss of an opening door makes me look away from her. Both of us turn our weary gazes to the door, where a nurse is wheeling in a crib. Bella's grip tightens around my fist. My heart begins to throb irrationally. Surely there is no reason to be so excited when I've just seen her, but I am. It's more than excitement; I can't really define what it is.

"How are you feeling, Mrs. Cullen?" The nurse beams at Bella. She's replying something, but I barely hear their conversation. My attention is set on the soft fuss that comes from inside the crib. I can't see her from where I'm sitting, but the movement of blankets assures me that she's there.

The nurse reaches for the crib and scoops the moving bundle in her arms. Slowly, she lowers it into Bella's hands, guiding her how to hold the baby. Bella hardly pays attention. Her eyes are wide with what looks like wonder. I'm sure her expression mirrors my own. She looks scared out of her wits, but her grasp is confident as if she's done it all her life.

"There you go, honey," the nurse coos, but I'm not sure if she's addressing Bella or the baby. Then she looks up at me. "Call me if you need anything."

I think I thank her, but my thoughts are in a haze. Bella doesn't even notice when the nurse is gone. Her eyes never leave the bundle in her arms. Her expression is dumbfounded. I can't see the baby from where I'm sitting, and I'm adjusting my position a bit. The motion shakes Bella out of her reverie and she smiles wearily at me as she lowers her arms a little. Her eyes glisten with tears.

xoxox

Those are different tears than the one's I'd constantly seen on her face in the past couple of months, and she had been crying a lot. The company had forced her to step down as soon as she told her managers she was pregnant. I understood completely, and even supported this decision. They didn't want to take any risks, and neither did I. I was sure that deep down, Bella also knew it was the right thing to do; but she'd been dancing for so long that the abrupt ending of it completely crushed her spirit.

She fell apart after her conversation with her manager at the New York City Ballet. Somehow, through broken sobs, she let it out that he did promise to take her back as soon as she was able to, but at the time, it didn't comfort her. She was devastated about the need to stop doing what she had been doing nearly all her life. I held her as she cried that night, and tried to comfort her the best I could. A lot of dancers stepped down to have kids, I told her. It didn't end their career; it wouldn't end yours.

This period of depression, as short as it had eventually lasted, scared the hell out of me. I would call five times a day to check on her, to make sure she got out of bed, that she was eating, that she remembered her doctor's appointments. I didn't want her to have second thoughts about this. I wanted her to want this baby, to wait for it as anxiously as I had been. I hoped her manager would keep his word. It was the only thing that kept her steady in those first couple of months. I didn't want to imagine what would happen if, from some reason, they took the promise back.

xoxox

That soft fuss brings me back to the hospital room. I blink and look down at her, only to be amazed by her again. We've seen her countless of times before on ultrasound screens at various stages of developments, but it's miles different. She's an actual person now, with eyes and nose and lips that suck on air, but she's so small she seems unreal. I reach out to touch her fingers, clutched into fists. My finger looks huge next to any of hers.

"She's so tiny."

At the sound of Bella's voice, she opens her eyes. We both gasp in surprise, and then laugh at our own reaction. Her eyes have strange hazel shade. They are alert, as if searching for the source of the voice. I wonder if she recognizes it.

"Hey," Bella murmurs, and touches a finger to the baby's head. Although she can't see yet, her eyes focus on Bella's. For a second, it does feel as if she recognizes her.

"I was being stupid." The words make me look up. Bella's eyes are urgent on mine. "I'm sorry I was making it difficult. Hormones." She laughs darkly, but the sound is broken. "All my life I've made ballet my top priority, so when they took it away from me… I was lost – I didn't know what I was supposed to do with myself. I was angry – with her, with everything. I didn't think – I didn't know – "

Her apology trails as I shake my head. "I'm pretty sure she won't resent you."

"Will you?"

Her eyes are huge, imploring, as if she honestly believes that I might. I lean over and kiss her forehead. "I thought you knew me well enough to know the answer for that," I chide her. "I know how important your dance is to you. But if you want it back, you have to get your strength back first."

"I don't…" Her voice trails off again; her eyes turn sheepish. "I don't want to be anywhere without her."

"You don't have to," I assure her. "Take all the time you need."

We don't say anything for a long time. The baby drifts back to sleep. Bella seems equally fascinated by her closed eyes, her soft breathing. Then she looks up at me and smiles. "As long as we're mob-free, we might as well name her."

xoxox

Her uncontrollable giggles drowned the noise from the TV. I wanted to tease her and say she could probably be heard all the way to the street, but it was impossible to say anything as long as she was laughing, which she was. Her eyes soon filled with tears which she didn't bother to wipe away. The noodles she had fished on her fork fell back into the box. "Tell me you're not serious!"

Mustering a severe expression of feigned offence, I tickled her feet, which were in my lap. She yelped and tried to squirm away. I wrapped my arms around her ankles, counting on the fact she could barely reach them now. Instead, she grabbed her growing belly. "Daddy is abusing me," she told our unborn baby.

"Mommy is making fun of me for trying to name you," I backfired.

"I'm _not_ naming our baby after both our _dads_!" she said, bursting into giggles again. "The next thing you say is that we could do a mash up of our moms' names."

"Those are the least likely names to do a mash up from," I pointed out. "I mean, what could you possibly do with Renée and Esme?"

"Reneeeesmeeee," she replied, stretching the vowels as if she was putting the name together on the spot. The last sound was lost in another fit of giggles, to which I soon joined too. It was impossible not to laugh. It sounded ridiculous.

"It's even worse than Carlie," she laughed, wiping a few more stray tears with the back of her hand. "I don't understand what's wrong with Annalene."

I rolled my eyes and picked at my rice. "You've been spending too much time in England. Was that Nathan's idea? Or Ivan's?"

"Stop being evil!" She raised her foot to poke my chest with her toe. She couldn't aim higher even if she tried. "Focus!"

"Phoebe," I shot, glancing at the TV screen where an ancient episode of _Friends_ was playing.

She snorted. "I thought we were going to be serious! _Ow_!" Her face screwed up a little, and she lay a hand on her stomach. "She agrees," she told me, wincing through a smile.

"Kicking again?"

"Maybe she's working on her grand pliés."

The accent implied it was French, so I assumed it was a ballet-related term. She looked sort of contemplative, which made me stay on my guard. "I seriously hope you're not thinking of some weird, random French or Russian name."

"Anya will love to know you think her name is weird and random," she said smugly, sticking her tongue at me. "But just for the record, that's not what I was thinking. That's because _I_ have some taste." Her expression was haughty as she stuffed noodles and chicken into her mouth.

"I like Emma."

She shook her head before I managed to complete the thought. "It sounds too much like Emmett, or Emily, for that matter, in which case Claire will kill you."

"True, scratch that."

"Catherine?"

"No Brontë references, please," I laughed at her pout, "but nice try."

There was a moment of silence before she scoffed. "It shouldn't be so difficult. There must be something we'll both agree to."

"We'll get there," I smiled and lay a hand over her own on her stomach. "We still have a couple of months before she shows up."

Perfectly timed with my statement, our baby kicked. This time I felt it too. Both of us started, and began to laugh. And in that one perfect moment, I couldn't care less what name we'd eventually choose for her. I couldn't wait for her to show up.

xoxox

I look at the baby thoughtfully and search my memory for the names both of us have eventually agreed on. We've narrowed them down to three, and I try to eliminate them now. We both like Kristen, but it rings weird with Cullen, so we've reluctantly let it go. Irene is another option, but she doesn't look like Irene to me now. There's one option left, secretly my favorite, but before I speak it out, Bella does.

"Grace."

It's not a question. She sounds as if she's made up her mind. I look up. I guess I look surprised to her because a soft laugh escapes her as she blushes.

"She looks like Grace to me," she explains. Then insecurity shadows her blissful smile. "Unless you want something else – "

I shake my head. "Grace is perfect." My voice is quivering, my throat thick with tears.

"Gee, that was fast," she giggles. It breaks the tension a little. I can see that beyond that grin, she's as emotional as well. "Grace Elizabeth Cullen?"

This time it's a question, although it shouldn't be. We've already agreed on her middle name. I nod anyway and return her smile. We sit there in silence because there's really not much to say. Bella fights off sleep and I mean to tell her to close her eyes and rest when a new voice pierces the silence. Both of us are alert in a matter of seconds. Grace's cry is thin and somewhat helpless; I find myself at loss against it. I watch Bella as she gently rocks her, whispering comforts into her tiny ear, and panic sweeps over me. My mother said parenthood was all about intuition – wasn't it supposed to kick in by now?

"I think she's hungry," Bella says, but uncertainty clouds her eyes. "Shh… it's okay," she murmurs. There's distress in her eyes as they meet mine.

"I'll get the nurse."

I nearly bump into the nurse when I dash down the hall. She fights off a grin at my frenzied explanation, and promises to check on Bella right away. Then she sends me to the nurses' station where my father is waiting. I'm just standing there, torn between the need to go to my father, and the stronger yearning to be back with Bella and Grace. Eventually, I head to the nurses' station. If Bella's instincts are correct, it feels necessary to give them some privacy.

xoxox

The day we finally told everyone is clear as if it has happened yesterday. At three months pregnant, Bella wasn't showing, but with her current lack of job, someone was bound to find out sooner or later. It was Christmas, and we were going to surprise our family in Forks. Usually I had stayed in New York while she had been working. Sometimes my parents would fly over. Charlie even joined them once. This year I discussed our holiday plans vaguely with Emmett, and booked our flights without telling anyone, thinking my parents wouldn't mind two (and a half) extra guests.

"Are you nervous?" I asked Bella as we were nearing Forks. Twilight descended over the thick forest; we were going to crash their dinner, but I couldn't care less.

"No," she replied. The serenity in her stare was overwhelming. She looked beautiful, radiant. There was not a hint of last month's depression. "We've come full circle."

It only just occurred to me that we had.

Rosalie opened the door for us. Her eyes, for a split second wide with astonishment, lit up. "_Oh my God_! What are you – _Esme_!" she half turned as she yelled my mother's name, and then ushered us inside.

Soon everyone surrounded us, including Charlie, who had been invited to dinner.

"What are you guys doing here?" My mother asked me. "How come you're not working?" – to Bella, while crushing her in a hug.

"Don't I deserve a proper Christmas break with my family?" asked Bella. I was thoroughly impressed; I'd expected blush and stutters. Instead, the lie – not entirely a lie, but not really the truth, either – slipped easily from her lips. And it was enough for my mother, who hugged me again and gushed at how happy she was we could make it.

As we went into the dining room, my eyes met Rosalie's, and I stilled at her smile. Even if she was more discreet than others and hadn't said anything, she had clearly sensed something was going on. I could see it by the way her gaze flickered from me to Bella's stomach and back. Luckily Jade and the twins soon took over the conversation. Ten minutes into dinner, it was as if we had been there all evening.

"Carlisle and I were just talking the other day," my mom told Bella over dessert. "When is your next production? It's been a while since we came to visit, and we thought we could see you perform."

There it was, the blush I'd feared from. Slowly, Bella placed her fork on the table and met my mother's inquiring gaze. "I… won't participate in the next production. Or the one after that."

My mother's face fell. "How come?"

"You weren't fired, were you, Bells?" Charlie interjected. He looked concerned, as if that could be the only reason we would come here.

"No. No, of course not."

"Are you going back to the English National Ballet?" My father's eyes flickered in my direction as he asked her that. He asked it lightly, but I could see the possibility made him somehow uneasy.

"We're not moving to London," I assured him.

"What, then?"

All their eyes were on Bella, apart for a few whose eyes wandered between the two of us. It was nerve wrecking. I remembered when Emmett had told us Rosalie was pregnant; he looked so cool back then. He had been acting so nonchalant, waiting for just the right moment to break their news to us. I couldn't help but wonder how he did it, and admire him for it.

It felt as if forever had passed before Bella spoke again, but it couldn't have been more than a few seconds. "I'm pregnant."

The squeals and shouts were deafening. Suddenly everyone was on their feet, forcing us onto our feet as well as they surrounded us. Questions mingled into congratulations. The kids, who had no idea what was going on, joined the cheers anyway.

"It's about damn time, dude," Emmett rejoiced, nearly knocking me over when he smacked my back. His grin was blinding. "Edward and Bella are going to have a baby," he explained Matthew.

The twins exchanged a look. "Why?" Andrew asked, as if he honestly couldn't understand why we'd want one.

"Because they knew I wanted to be an uncle." He gave me that haughty grin again. "I thought I'd have to shut up about it forever."

I shouldn't have been so horrified, but I was. "You _knew_?"

"Suspected. You've been acting weird for weeks, man. Rosalie said it was impolite to ask."

"Thanks, Rose," I muttered.

She came over to me, beaming, and gave me a quick hug. "You _should_ be grateful. He was impossible to reign." Emmett rolled his eyes; she blew him a kiss, then winked at me.

"Uncle Charlie, why are you crying?"

Jade's question made everyone look at Charlie. His eyes were moist; I half expected him to look away and deny it. Bella untangled herself from Emmett's grasp, her dark stare suddenly worried. She walked over to Charlie and wrapped her arms around him. He held her close; as he blinked, a tear fell into her hair.

"I'm crying because I'm happy, honey," he told Jade with the slightest quiver in his voice.

"When are you due, honey?" My mother asked Bella, as she slowly pulled away from Charlie.

"In May."

"And…?"

I stared at my brother dumbfounded. "And… what?"

"Is it a boy or a girl?"

I looked up at Bella. We only found out a few weeks ago, and we hadn't actually decided if we wanted to share that, but looking at her now, she nodded as if she knew Emmett wouldn't leave it alone unless we answered.

"It's a girl," she asserted, jokingly ducking against the new wave of exclamations.

xoxox

My father is speaking to a nurse by the desk, but the conversation stops as soon as he notices me. I haven't seen him since Bella has been brought into the ward. He eyes me anxiously when I approach him, but also eagerly. A fully experienced grandfather by now, I expect him to get used to it by now. Looks like he never has, never will be.

"I heard my new granddaughter is quite a beauty." His smile is tender. Then he shakes his head. "I sent your mother home to get some sleep. Charlie too, but he won't listen. He just went to get some coffee. For you, too; I thought you could use some."

We've been here since one in the morning, but I hardly feel tired anymore. I don't even know what time it is, and I hardly care. "I'm fine," I protest. My father just smiles knowingly. He looks as if he's waiting for me to crash.

"I don't want to rush you, but you'll need to register her and take care of some paperwork, so as soon as you name her – "

"We have, just now."

This surprises him. There's anticipation in his gaze. Although he doesn't actually ask anything, I answer anyway.

"Grace Elizabeth Cullen." It slips out of my lips with confidence, as if it has always meant to be her name.

He nods, and there's approval in his stare.

"Could you please call mom later and tell her? And Emmett; he will kill me if he finds out from someone else. And tell Alice she should go home and get some sleep too. And when Charlie gets back please tell him Bella is fine. We should also call Renée and – "

My string of frenzied orders is instantly cut off when he rests his hands on my shoulders. It's only when I blink I realize there's moisture around my eyes. My father's smile is sympathetic; he has clearly noticed the tears that are now spilling down my cheeks. It's silly to cry. Bella is fine, and so is Grace. And still, I don't seem able to stop them from coming.

The knowing smile curls on my father's lips again as he shakes his head. "It's okay," he says, and his voice his tender, as if I were a child. And then his arms tighten around me as I cry into his shoulder, and he pats my back as each sob ripples through me. I should be hugely relieved, but instead I'm panicked. I've prepared myself for this moment for months, if not years, but it isn't until I've seen her that I've realized I actually know nothing at all.

"I know it's overwhelming," my father speaks to the top of my head. "It's not going to be easy. But it will get easier each day. And then before you know it, it will be you holding her and telling her exactly what I'm telling you now."

After what feels like a long time, I feel myself calming down. My father doesn't rush me. He just waits it out with me, as patiently as ever. When I finally pull away from him, I wipe my tears, although I'm sure Bella will notice them anyway.

"Go," my father orders gently. "Send her my love. I'll get Charlie for her, and I'll call your mother."

I nod absentmindedly, my thoughts are already given to the tiny baby down the hall. There's no need to deny it – I'm scared shitless. That first cry has already sent my confidence crumpling. It won't get easier as my father has predicted. It will only be more and more difficult. There will always be new things to learn. There is so much I don't know yet.

I'm filled with this rush of energy at this thought, one that sends the panic away. Suddenly I can't wait. I thank my father and hurry down the hall, feeling strangely confident all of a sudden. I assign my mood swings to the enormity of the day. I'm a father. It's still difficult to absorb.

I think back to the day we told everyone, and the memory comforts me. If anything, it assures me we will not go through this alone. They'll always be there for us, one way or another. And if they do, we can get through anything.

Yes, I tell myself; we can definitely do this.

Resolution conquers fear. I smile as I push the door open. I'm anxious to be back with her. Our baby. Our daughter. Grace.


End file.
